Train
by xNewtx
Summary: "He was so mean to me, and I didn't even realize what was happening until the last second—it was like a train slamming into my chest at full force, shattering my heart on impact and scattering useless emotions everywhere." Takes place a week or so after Thomas's arrival in the first book, but time is weird and Teresa comes in a lot later. Newt and OC relationship :)
1. Dreams

My eyelids flutter open and I gasp.

I'm alone in a box, a midnight black box. I'm moving upwards, my speed gaining. I can't see a thing, and my breathing speeds with every intake of breath.

"He-hello?" I croak, wincing at the sound of my cracking voice.

There's no response. I attempt to stand, holding my hands out in front of me to keep my balance. I walk cautiously, one step at a time, holding on to the cage-like barred walls so I don't fall. Every step I take causes the box to creak and groan. I figure, judging by the sounds, that the box is held up by metal chains.

The box suddenly stops moving, and I clumsily trip over one of the few miscellaneous boxes scattered about on the ground. I let out a stream of quiet curses.

"Hello-o-o-o...," I repeat, relieved to hear the normal tone of my voice returning slowly.

_I don't remember the last time I lost my voice_, I think.

A moment passes, and I realize I don't remember the last time I did _anything_.

I internally panic, desperately trying to think about my past-any memory that could possibly occur to me, but there aren't any. There's only wisps of color, like a painting that's missing too much to be able to interpret its meaning. That's what my memories are: useless, colorful streaks of paint on the mysterious canvas of my past.

Is this a dream? If it is, surely it's a nightmare.

A crack of white hot light explodes above my head. It expands outwards on both sides, creating a blinding rectangle-shaped opening.

Once my eyes adjust, I see faces peeking into the opening. They're boys, all boys, dozens of them.

"It's a girl!" one of them shrieks.

"I call dibs!" another one cries, and I have the nerve to smirk.

A strong-looking rope with a sort of noose on the end falls into the opening, and I stare at it for a moment before stepping into the loop. Someone pulls me up, and then suddenly I'm standing in a warm, grassy area, surrounded by boys.

Fear creeps back into my heart. Who are they? Where am I? Did they do this to me?

One blond boy steps forward with a slight limp. He grins at me, putting a hand on my shoulder, and I'm sure my heart stops altogether.

"Welcome to the Glade," he says in a thick accent. "You're safe now."

If this is a dream, I'm pretty sure it isn't a nightmare.


	2. Bloody Confused

I'm quiet for a moment, taking in everything about the boy. He's tall, taller than me, with a square jaw and soft, comforting brown eyes. At least, they look comforting, but when I meet them with my own it only causes my heart to speed and my anxiety to grow. His hands are calloused but strong, and he wears a smirk much like my own.

"I don't remember...," I say quietly, almost to myself. It's the first thing that comes to my mind, and I mentally smack myself in the face.

The blond's eyes soften even more. "None of us do. Don't worry, Greenie, you've got a lot to learn."

"What's your name?" another voice commands, this one deeper and stronger. I turn around, facing a dark muscular boy.

"Kelly," I offer, wondering how I remembered that information yet nothing else.

The dark boy raises an eyebrow. "So why are you here?"

"I...don't know. I don't know anything, and I can't remember anything!" I realize I had become flustered and my voice had risen steadily.

"But you're a girl," he mutters, running a hand through his hair.

"Clearly," I snap irritably, angered slightly that my gender should even make a difference. But then I realize that this society consists entirely of boys, and I look down, suddenly feeling like crying. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on."

"It's alright, we all know how you feel. Newt'll give you the tour, explain some things, and then we'll figure out what to do with you."

What to _do_ with me?

"I'm Alby," the boy offers with his gruff voice, sticking out a hand. I shake it gingerly, his words ringing in my head. The other boys start to clear away, each one giving me a stare before they trudge back to various places in the grassy area. Looking around, I see a few misshapen buildings and crop fields. My head swims with questions.

"So, I'm sure you're bloody confused, huh?"

The blond boy.


	3. Shucking Language

"Very, very confused."

The boy grins and my chest races again. I curse under my breath, forcing myself to look away from his mesmerizing eyes.

"I'm Newt, and I'll be giving you the tour like Alby said."

He sticks out a hand, and I place mine in his, shaking it firmly. I return his confident grin, despite the constant racing of my heart.

"Don't worry, you'll get the hang of things sooner or later. I have no bloody idea why you're here, but I'm gonna treat you just like every other Greenie until we make some sense out of things."

I smile. At least Newt won't treat me differently because of my gender.

"Alright, when do we start? And why are you calling me _Greenie_? I have a name, you know."

Newt laughs, checks his watch, and then lightly grabs my wrist. I can tell that it's a friendly gesture, but nonetheless electricity shoots up my arm and straight into my cheeks, which I'm sure are a burning red by now.

"Because you're new. Like I said, you'll get the hang of things. And the tour starts...now."

He starts to jog, slowly at first but gaining an awkward, limping speed. I match his pace, wondering where he's leading me. He shows me around this place that they call "The Glade", and my brain stings trying to take in everything. Eventually he's explained everything from Grievers and the Maze to Alby's "frequently used words", which include extremely odd ones like "shank" and "klunk".

"Okay, I'm confused," I say.

Newt raises an eyebrow, turning to face me.

"Why do you guys say _shuck_? I mean, who came up with this stuff?"

Newt laughs genuinely, and the sound warms my heart. "You just got here and the only thing you're confused about is how we speak?"

I shrug. "Sure, everything's hard to take in, but at least I vaguely _understand_ most of it, or why it's here. Those words don't have a specific purpose."

He stares at me for a moment, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. I blush yet again, his contagious grin causing the corners of my lips to lift as well.

"I don't know, really. Alby was the first one to start using them, and the rest of us started using them kind of ironically. Before we knew it, everyone was speaking like him. I guess it was his master plan to take over our language," Newt finally says, darkening his stare comically while speaking his last sentence.

I laugh, for the first time in who knows how long, making Newt's small smile grow even bigger. His gaze still lingers on me as we trudge back to get some dinner. I don't realize how hungry I am until a steaming plate of food is placed in front of me, and I dig in. The food is surprisingly good, and my dinner gets even better when Newt sits across from me and tries to make conversation.

"So...how is it, being the only girl?" He seems a lot more awkward than he was earlier, and for some reason he's blushing all over the place.

I giggle at his adorable nervousness. "It's alright, so far. Haven't really gotten to know anyone but you, and besides the fact that no one knows why I'm here, it's not bad."

"Oh," he says, and I can tell he doesn't know where to take this conversation. He looks flustered, and I would help him out, but watching him is very amusing.

"How's your family?" he blurts out.

I raise an eyebrow. "My family? Well, I hope they were nice, but I don't know. Don't really...remember them, do you?"

He shakes his head, his blush deepening. His awkwardness is kind of cute.

"None of us remember our families-not much, anyway. Sorry, that was a bloody stupid question."

"Not really. You're my family now, right?" I ask.

He looks up at me, a funny smirk playing on his lips, and my eyes widen. "I mean, you, as in all of you. You're all my new family."

I'm_ such_ an idiot.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess we are," he says, keeping his eyes on me.

I smile at him then, and he returns it with a toothy grin just as large as mine. He knocks my foot playfully with his own under the table, and I laugh, finally starting to almost feel at home in the Glade.


	4. Pajamas

"Alright, here's where you'll sleep."

Newt gestures to a bleak, square-shaped room on the upper level of the Homestead. It's small, consisting of only two shelves pressed to the wall and a tiny bed.

"You're lucky, you get your own room. Us _guys_ have to sleep in very uncomfortable, crowded quarters."

I flop down on the bed and wince. It's as hard as a rock.

"I wouldn't exactly call this _comfortable_."

Newt rolls his eyes, smirking at my attitude, and places my bundle of extra clothes on one of the shelves, along with a backpack and a few other things.

"Be grateful," he scolds, his soft eyes meeting mine. "And, it's bedtime."

I scoff, laughter in my eyes. "I'm not three years old, Newt; I think I can set my own bedtime."

"You should still get some sleep-trust me, you'll need it. I'll be waking you up early tomorrow because its time for you to spend the day with some of the Keepers, find out which job is best for you."

I groan and reluctantly get up to rifle through the clothes, once and then again.

"I don't have any pajamas," I say.

"Oh. I can...look for some...," he mutters, almost to himself, and then exits the room.

Once he's gone, I start looking around my "bedroom". I guess it's not that bad compared to the other Gladers' sleeping quarters, which are so jam-packed I don't know how anyone can sleep.

Newt re-enters my room, sooner rather than later since his is just down the hall. He's carrying a forest-green T-shirt that looks like it would go down to my thighs. I notice his cheeks are bright red when he says,

"Um, this should do for a night, and we can get you real pajamas tomorrow."

I don't question him when he quickly tosses me the shirt and calls,

"Goodnight, Kelly."

"'Night, Newt," I reply, liking how my name sounded when he said it.

He shuts the door quickly and I hear him sigh with relief on the other side. I smirk.

I put on the soft shirt, thinking nothing of it, and slide into the sheets of my bed. The shirt smells nice, like freshly-cut grass and soap. I snuggle into it until I realize whose shirt this must be.

"_Shuck_, Newt."

My cheeks burn, _again_, and I try to think of anything but him-anything else about my first day in the Glade.

Finally giving up, I fall asleep to thoughts of the blond-haired boy with the limp.


	5. Nice Shirt

"Kelly-y-y."

I groan and turn over, snuggling farther into the warm sheets of my bed. Someone shakes my shoulder.

"C'mon, Kel, wake u-u-up."

I open my eyes to see Newt's blurry face hovering above mine. He looks like he just woke up, too, and a piece of his hair sticks straight up, making me laugh softly as I rub my eyes.

"Alright, alright, I'm up."

I stretch and sit up in bed, suddenly self-conscious when I realize that I'm just wearing his shirt and undergarments. He stands by my bedside uneasily, somehow managing to look at everything but me.

"Get out while I change," I command, smirking.

He looks over, snapping out of his daze. "Hmm? Oh, yeah, of course."

He exits a little too quickly, making me giggle when he trips over his own feet and curses. After he shuts the door, I can hear him muttering to himself outside.

I stand, stretching lethargically, and sift through the pile of clothes. I end up choosing a pair of tight black pants, a blue shirt, and brown combat boots-the only shoes I have. I throw my hair into a quick ponytail and then walk outside, yawning. Newt's leaning on the wall and twiddling his thumbs anxiously. He looks over at me when I come out of the door, and I toss him the green shirt.

"Nice shirt, really soft," I comment offhandedly, and I get the reaction I expected when he blushes deeply.

"Uh, yeah," he mutters, starting off rather quickly with me following close behind.

We meander out to the fields I saw earlier, and he introduces me to one of the Keepers that he calls Zart.

The already sweat-glazed farmer shoots me a lopsided grin. "Ready to work, Greenie?"

"I guess," I mumble, suddenly feeling shy.

Newt pats me on the back reassuringly, and tendrils of warmth spiral from his touch. "I'll leave you two alone. Make sure you get her back in time for dinner."

"Will do."

Zart drops to his knees in the rich soil, expecting me to follow suit. I tear my eyes away from Newt's retreating form and kneel next to the Keeper, listening intently as he shows me how to plant the crops.

I get the hang of it pretty quickly, and Zart is pleasantly surprised. He leaves me once he sees what I can do, heading off to work on another garden patch. Working alone in the fields is nice and peaceful, yet sort of boring. Half-consciously, I begin to hum.

It's a simple melody, only a couple of sequential notes, but it shocks me out of the mindless working daze. This tune...I remember it. It's foggy, but I can almost see a brown-haired woman singing this song to me...and someone else? I can almost sing it myself...

I dig to the recesses of my mind, but I can't remember anything else. Still, I can replay the vision of the singing woman whenever I choose, making me grin to myself.

I remembered something.


	6. Picnic

The melody sticks in my head all day, pushing me to keep working all the way until dinner time with only a short lunch break in between. I'm starving by the time the cook (who's name I haven't yet learned) rings the dinner bell, and I stand, ready to make my way over to the kitchen.

To my surprise, though, Newt runs into me first, hiding something behind his back.

"How was work?" he asks, flashing his signature grin.

"Quite boring, honestly, but peaceful," I admit. The blond boy grins and pulls the hidden object out from behind him.

"Want to talk about it over dinner?"

Newt winks, pulling back the lid of his woven picnic basket the slightest bit so I catch a glimpse of the incredibly tempting meal inside. I glance up at the darkening sky, eyebrows furrowed. If I remember correctly, the Doors will be closing soon.

"Isn't it a little late for a picnic?" I ask, humor sneaking into my tone.

"Unlelss you wanna eat with all those other shanks, I think now's a great time."

I return his goofy smile and sit down on the blanket he conveniently laid out next to the West Door. He passes me a sandwich and informs me that his friends Tommy and Minho will be eating with us, too.

"They'll be running out of this Maze any second now, probably bloody startling us to death, but eventually they'll join us. They're nice guys, and you need to make friends."

He pokes my arm jokingly, and I hide my unwanted pout. He sees it anyway and grins,

"What, you'd prefer only eating with me? _Alone_?" he wiggles his eyebrows.

_That's exactly right._

"Shut up," I mutter, blushing and refusing to answer.

A smirk plays on his lips. He takes a swig of his water, studying me. I look up at him through long lashes, wondering about what's happening in his mind. I'm very aware of my knee brushing against his.

"You look very pretty tonight," he says, without thinking.

I'm taken aback. "Why, thank you."

_Is he like this with everyone?_

"You know," I change the subject, "I really appreciate you showing me around."

Newt manages a laugh. "Don't mention it, I give the tour to all the Greenies."

"But, I mean...you treated me just like another Glader, regardless of my gender. Like I'm nothing special."

He's silent, his deep eyes meeting my own. My gaze falls to the ground, thinking that I might have misspoken. To my surprise, though, I feel his fingers gently pushing my chin up. We're so close I can hear his rhythmic breaths.

"Trust me, you're special. Special to me."

_There's no way he's like this with everyone._

I smile, a new feeling settling in my chest. It's elation and nervousness and affection all bottled up into one, making my heart to race in a way that it never has before. I want to respond, but I can't form the words. I simply gaze at him, as I have a feeling that my eyes convey my feelings well enough.

Then Newt's gaze suddenly hardens. I've never seen his brown eyes look so...hateful.

"Newt...are you okay?"

He focuses on my words, and his eyes become comforting again.

"Yeah, just...thinking."

"About?"

"I...can't tell you."

"Oh, come on!" I plead, making puppy dog eyes.

He hesitates, and then shakes his head, changing the subject. "Look, there's Minho and Tommy."

I see a heavily muscled Asian guy bolt out of the Maze, followed by a smaller brown-haired figure. Both look slightly familiar; I'm sure I've seen them around before. They enter the Map Room, and they're gone as quickly as they appeared. Only moments after they and the other Runners emerge from the Maze, the doors grind closed.

"Quite the show," I mutter, impressed.

Newt shrugs, keeping his eyes on the Map Room door. It's clear that there's something on his mind, but after the moment we just had, I'm afraid to push him too hard and ruin what little we shared.

Minho and Thomas approach us, sweaty and grinning. We talk lightheartedly as we eat, and I find that they're both really nice guys. Minho seems to be extremely sassy, and Thomas has a thing for cracking terrible jokes and puns. The odd one out is Newt, who's unusually quiet.

"Well, we should be getting back," Minho says, strecthing. "We got another day of the same old klunk tomorrow."

"Thanks for the picnic," Thomas says, looking at me kindly.

"It was Newt's idea," I say, smiling as I acknowledge the blond.

Newt simply nods, his eyes fixed on the sky. I feel a pang of sadness in my chest, but then quickly scold myself, telling myself that he's just...preoccupied.

Minho and Thomas help pack up the blanket and leftover food, and then set off toward the Homestead. Newt and I follow, a few paces behind them. We're quiet, only because I'm too afraid to try to start a conversation. He walks me to my room, silent as I reluctantly sit down on the sheets.

"Shuck," he says suddenly, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin.

"What?" I ask.

"The pajamas, it totally slipped my mind."

The words leave my mouth before I can even think about what I'm saying. "That's alright, can I just...use the shirt again? It was very comfy."

Shuck. Shuck shuck _shuck_.

Newt pauses, but then his face breaks out into a smile, a sight that causes my heart to warm. He retrieves the dark green garment, but when he returns to my room, he's the same stony person he was earlier. I frown, missing the few seconds of happiness he'd shown.

"Thanks," I manage, trying not to let disappointment creep into my tone. "Goodnight, Newt."

He studies me once again, and before I can determine if I really do see tears in his eyes, he closes the door with a quick, "'Night."

I fall back onto my pillow with a sigh, again not being able to think of anything but him.


	7. You Wouldn't Understand

The days dragged on, each one dragging down my happiness with it. Newt was getting more and more distant with every passing day. Whatever he'd "thought" about at the picnic had to be something as bad as the look in his eyes-it sure made _me _feel that bad. Today was the worst-he hadn't said a word to me.

I worked as a Track-Hoe now, in the fields, every day. It was rather boring, but singing always kept my spirits up. Newt would show up sometimes, never speaking a word to me but never letting his eyes leave me either. It confused me, and yet I was getting so used to it I didn't even blush anymore.

_What did I do wrong? _I wonder for the billionth time that week as his brown orbs follow my every move.

He'd been talking to Minho a lot too-it started with a single quiet conversation, but now every time I looked at him he was upset and pouring his heart out to the Runner.

Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't he _talk_ to me? Did he not trust me?

I realize that my thoughts are consuming me, and I'm just sitting, staring at the dirt. I glance up at Newt. He's watching me with a look of concern on his face, but when he sees that I'm looking back at him he turns away without a word.

_Concern...as if he cares_, I think hopelessly. I get back to work for another hour and then suddenly find Thomas at my side.

"Kelly, you've been working all day. It's almost three o'clock-don't you need to eat something?"

I sigh, realizing how hungry I am, and get up. Thomas studies me.

"Okay, I may not know a lot about girls, but I can tell _something's _up. Spill."

I laugh, but it's more of a saddened scoff. "You wouldn't understand."

"How do you know?"

I sigh, not responding.

"You won't know unless you tell me," he says gently.

"Thomas," I say, tears rising in the back of my throat. "I can't tell you. And anyway, it's stupid."

"It can't be stupid if it's making you this upset. Kelly, you can tell me anything. You can trust me to keep your secret, or whatever, I promise."

His words remind me of Newt, and I break down. I can't take it anymore.

Thomas wraps me in a hug as I cry into his shoulder. I feel weak, slightly embarrassed that I'd cry at something as simple as this, but I accept the hug. I'm grateful to have someone, someone who's here for me, someone who's acting like a friend.

"Who?" Thomas pleads. "Who did this to you?"

"Thomas, I told you, you won't understand. The-they didn't even do anything wrong!"

Thomas looks at me, pain in his eyes.

"Thomas..."

I had to tell him. There was no one to stop me now.

"It was Newt."


	8. Knight in Shining Armor

I thought Newt ignoring me was bad, but this? This was hell.

He was finally talking to me, I got my wish. But everything he said was hostile, rude, taunting. I suspected that Thomas had told Newt everyhing I'd told him, so now I was ignoring Thomas, too.

Thinking of Thomas brings my mind back to our conversation. I'd told him everything, literally pourning my guts out, and now I almost regret trusting him.

*flashback*

_"Thomas, it was Newt, it is Newt, it will always be Newt."_

_Thomas looks at me, confused. I was right-he doesn't understand._

_"Thomas, when I first got out of that box, I saw Newt. He was the first one who said anything to me. He put his hand on my shoulder and he told me I was safe here. And then he stayed with me, talking to me, when no one else would. Everyone else was...I don't know, scared. They were scared, because I was a girl, and I was here. But Newt wasn't. He talked to me, and he said he'd treat me like another Glader, regardless of my gender. He was sweet. He was welcoming. Thomas, he was the first friend I had here."_

_"But...that doesn't sound bad to me," Thomas says, almost at a whisper._

_"You don't get it, Thomas, and I don't think I can ever explain it."_

_I start to back away when Thomas's eyes take on a look of realization._

_"No," he says quietly, "I think I do get it. He was your sense of protection when you came. Like your knight in shining armor."_

_I chuckle softly, but thinking of Newt as the hero again just tore my heart to shreds. Thomas studies my face, and says carefully,_

_"Kelly, I think I really do get it now. He...he guarded you when you got to the__Glade. He stood by you, and he's the one that comforted you when you were scared. He answered your questions, and tried to make you feel okay again. Your relationship...even if it was just as friends, it was the beginning of something beautiful. And then, he...something happened. And for some reason, he took it all away from you. He started ignoring you, and trying to stay away from you. I even asked him one day, 'Why don't you go over there and talk to Kelly?', and he just shook his head. I don't have a shucking idea why he'd do this to you, tear everything way from you, especially only days after you got to the Glade."_

_Thomas pauses, looking in my eyes for a reaction. The one I send back is "I couldn't agree more"._

_"But I do know this. I will do everything I can to get that information from him. I will find out why he's trying to break you, Kelly, and I'm going to fix it, so help me God."_

_I don't respond for a moment, letting his words wash over me._

_"Thank you, Thomas."_

*end of flashback*

Now I couldn't help but wonder...were his words full of lies?

I sigh. At least talking to him had made me feel better-a _little _better. Now the pain was back, stronger than ever. I wanted someone to talk to now. I needed to vent, and a few comforting words wouldn't hurt, either.

Thomas wasn't an option-I couldn't afford to tell him anything you didn't want him to tell the rest of the world. Minho was also out of the question-he seemed to be at Newt's side every second of every day. And Newt? I laugh out loud.

Newt-that filthy shank-not only ruined the friendship I'd shared with him, but he ruined my other friendships, too.


	9. Gone

I scoff, remembering the feelings I'd had for Newt when I first got to the Glade.

He seemed to be the only thing I remembered these days. Mostly it was his old self, the sweet, charming "knight in shining armor". No wonder, then he was actually _nice_ to me. The only feeling I had now was hate.

"Not singing today?" someone interrupts my thoughts.

I glare at the person who'd dared to talk to me, hateful thoughts consuming me. Then my gaze softens when I realize it was Zart.

"I'm sorry, Zart, I'm just having a bad day. I mean week."

Zart wipes sweat from his brow. "Aren't we all?"

"Yeah, but mine was a real piece of..._klunk_. Filthy shank ruined everything," I say, still trying to get used to their language. The thought reminded me of my conversation with Newt, but I quickly pushed that to the back of your mind.

"Hm, which filthy shank?" Zart was saying.

"Nevermind, Zart, get back to work."

I don't talk to Zart again for the rest of that day, not even able to bring myself to say his name. At dinner, everything just gets worse. Newt and Minho are in a quiet, heated discussion, and Thomas provides the occasional input. Halfway through dinner, they moved their little "party" to just inside the Deadheads, obviously trying to have some privacy, but I wouldn't have it.

Who did they think they were, keeping everything from me? I was tired of it, and I was shucking done with it.

I storm over to the group, my fury powering me more than anything else. As I near the group, I hear Newt's voice (for once not hostile, just flustered) and I hide behind a tree, curiosity consuming me.

"It's not that bloody easy, Minho."

"Yeah, it is, you just _tell_ her."

Tell me _what_?

"I...I can't, Minho, it's harder than it sounds!"

"At least you won't crush her heart like you've been doing? Don't you see it? You're shattering her! Pretending like you hate her is the absolute worst thing to do! Did you not _listen _to what Tommy told you?"

So he _did_ tell, that traitor.

"I...I'm not trying to hurt her," Newt was saying, "I'm trying to hate her so I don't have to..."

Newt trails off, leaving emotions swimming in my head.

"Why? Why are you trying to deny it, to postpone it? it's going to happen, Newt! Your feelings aren't going to just disappear!" That was Thomas's-traitor's-voice.

"I'm _scared_, Minho, alright? I'm _bloody _scared. I'd rather face a Griever than face a _girl_. Especially _her_."

I can't take it anymore. I dart out from behind the tree, trying to get a grip on my feelings.

"Hey guys," I try to sound casual, but my voice cracks.

Newt avoids my eyes. His face is red, and Minho's still has a hard expression plastered to it. Thomas just looks helpless.

"What's up? Were you talking about something?"

None of them reply, and I try to keep up my "innocent" act.

"Can I join you?"

Newt stands, and I see tears in his eyes.

"No, Kelly, you _can't. _We're talking about something important, and we don't need a girl to ruin it. Now go."

He turns his back on me, heading back to the bench where he was previously sitting. I let out a strangled gasp, making it obvious that I'm hurt. Every word he said pelted me like a knife, and I felt like I was slowly dyng from the stab wounds.

It's too much for me, and I snap. I yank him off of the bench and grap his shirt collar, pulling him an inch from my face.

"No, Newt, _no. _You've been an absolute piece of klunk the past few weeks, and I'm done with it. Minho was right-you're shucking _stupid_ if you don't realize what you're doing. You're _not trying to hurt me_? Then what do you think ignoring me, and then insulting me, and being a complete jerk is doing? You think it makes me feel good, or welcome?"

By now tears are streaming down my cheeks, and Newt doesn't look much better.

"Why do you hate me, Newt, why? Tell me! Tell me what you told Minho and Thomas and who knows who else, yet you're too _scared_ to tell me!"

Newt stays silent, quiet sobs racking his body. Minho stands next to us, looking angry, and Thomas watched from the bench, looking sad.

"You know what? Fine. Keep on insulting me, and teasing me, and shucking yelling at me, because whatever hope I had is gone. What happened to you?" I sob, the sweet boy he was before consuming my memories.

He keeps looking down, and then I realize his gaze is on my lips. It occurs to me how close we are.

But there's no time for blushing, and laughing, and kindness. That's all gone now.

"I hate you, too, you filthy shank! There, does that make you feel shucking better?" I scream, pushing him back onto the bench harshly and storming off.

"Kelly, wait!" I hear Thomas call out. I break into a run, and I don't stop until I'm back at my room with the door locked.

I sob for hours on end, just sitting on my bed. Thomas tries to get me to let him in, and then Minho, but I don't budge, letting my feelings consume me.

I reach back on the bed and feel something soft, so I pick it up. Soft is comforting, right?

It's the green T-shirt.

Nope, not comforting.

Its familiar smell enters my nose, and a loud sob escapes me. I'd still been sleeping in it, keeping it as a small kind of hope.

I throw it in the corner harshly, turning my back on it. The shirt was gone now, and so was my hope.

And so was my sweet blond boy with the limp.


	10. Hate and Love

I was wide awake somewhere around 2 A.M., and that's when I realized.

What I said was a lie.

I didn't hate him.

I _couldn't _hate him.

He could ignore me, or continue to insult me, or freaking murder everyone I cared about.

But I'd still love him.

Not him, as in, _present _him.

No, I love the old Newt, the "knight in shining armor" Newt.

I love the "protector" Newt, the "comforting" Newt, the "guardian" Newt.

No matter what he did, or what I did, that feeling would never leave me. I knew it.

Because whenever I cried about Newt, the only person I wanted to hold me was Newt.

When I wanted to beat Newt to the ground for being an idiot, I wanted Newt to be my partner in crime.

It was a terrible love, a forbidden love, a "Romeo and Juliet" love.

But it was love just the same.

And I couldn't help but wonder, if maybe, just maybe.

His was love too, just misunderstood.

Hate and love aren't really that different, after all.

Hate and love, they cure each other.


	11. Bad Ideas

I hoped Newt might end up apologizing sooner or later, but definitely not like this.

The next day in the Glade-the day after our little "fight"-is terrible. I hadn't gotten any sleep the previous night, and I keep dozing off in the fields. The other Track-Hoes are constantly having to shake me awake, and I can tell they're getting tired of it.

When it's finally time for lunch, I sit alone-like I'd been doing for a while now. Sometimes Chuck or other Gladers would try to talk to me, but I'd usually shrug them off. Everyone knew very well that it was better to just leave me alone.

My eyes search the room for Newt, as always. Surprisingly I don't find him here, but I'm not complaining. I don't want to face his words, and I definitely don't want to tell him about the little epiphany I'd had last night.

"Alright, everybody up! Get back to work, you shanks!" Frypan calls.

I sigh. I'd barely eaten anything-a sure way to keep myself unenergized. I felt like giving up, not just with my work, but with life in the Glade.

Why even try anymore? When has my life here been anything but miserable?

With Newt. The only time my life was good was with Newt. And since I know that's never going to happen again, I have an idea.

It's probably the worst idea I've ever had. But I figure we're all going to die anyway, so why not.

I wanted to find Newt first, and tell him it wasn't his fault. it kind of was, but I didn't want him to have to live with the guilt.

I walk around the Glade, my eyes searching. I call his name a few times, even ask some other Gladers if they know where he is. No one knows.

I groan, giving up. If he's going to avoid me, that would be _his _problem.

I look around, making sure no one is watching, and then bolt towards the Maze. I'm getting closer and closer, only a few yards from the entrance, when somone tackles me from the side.

"What are you bloody doing?!" Newt cries, trying to pin me to the ground.

Great. Just who I was looking for.

"I was looking for you," I mutter, trying to distract him by looking in his eyes. It works, and I throw him off of me.

"Hey!" he protests, and I know I have no time to lose.

Before I realize what I'm doing, I'm bolting into the Maze with no sense of direction and no clue where I'm going. I can hear odd limping-running footsteps echoing behind me, and Newt's voice calling my name. I can tell I'm faster, and with every turn he falls back a little more.

After what seems like hours, I think I've lost him. Wasting no time, I force my tired limbs to pull me up the side of the Maze wall, using ivy vines as ropes. I'm breathing heavily when I reach my desired height, about 25 yards off of the ground.

"Kelly!" I hear Newt's voice getting closer to my hiding spot, and I try to quiet my heavy breaths.

_Please don't turn down this passage._

Seconds after, Newt runs into the same area as me.

_Shuck._

I can't see terror on his features, but it's obvious he's scared because of his stance. I try to be completely still, leaning my head back on the cool stone and taking small, quiet breaths.

Suddenly, my position shifts, and my foot slides on the stone wall. Pebbles escape the crack I was standing on and tumble to the ground, clattering to the floor loudly. I curse under my breath when Newt's eyes find me.

"What are you bloody doing? Get _down_ from there!" he cries, horrified.

"Oh, look," I mutter quietly, "that's the first time you've talked to me without insulting me."

"Why are you up there!?" he repeats, running his hands through his hair.

"I wanted to tell you it wasn't your fault," I tell him, starting to loosen my grip on the vines.

"What? _What _isn't my fault? Everthing is my bloody fault!"

"Ah, yes, bloody. You may want to look away, I'm sure it'll be quite bloody."

I lean forward slightly, and I hear him gasp. He realizes.

"You weren't planning on _jumping_, were you!?"

I don't respond for a moment, letting go of the vines with one hand. Even though I'm still standing on the slightly-jutting-out crack, I wobble precariously, and he cries,

"Why? Why would you even _try_ to do that?!"

"I have my reasons. And, are you planning on _watching _me? I promise, it'll be much more painful for you that way."

I let go with one finger.

"No! No, don't do it!" he screams, and I can hear tears in his voice. "It's not worth it!"

"How would you know?" I ask, only holding on with three fingers now. More pebbles fall from the crack, and my weight shifts again dangerously.

"Because I tried it, Kelly! I jumped, too! I was scared, and I tried to end my life!"

I hesitate. He's crying, and I hate that I feel the need to comfort him.

"Please," he begs, "don't do it. Come down here and talk. We can work this out, please."

"I don't know...," I mutter. Two fingers.

"Please, no! I'll tell you everything. Everything, I swear. I was a jerk, I know, but please, give me a chance to redeem myself."

"It takes all of this to make you apologize, huh?"

One finger.


	12. Too Confusing

"KELLY, NO!"

His scream echoes through the Maze, a sound that would forever haunt me in my dreams. I could hear it tearing his vocal chords, burning his throat. I could hear the built up greif, and anguish, sorrow, regret, longing. I heard the tears strain his voice, and you could hear every ounce of his being built up into that horrible sound.

I can't take it anymore. I grab the vines with both hands, steadying myself. Why had I been so stupid?

"I'm coming down," I say, my voice cracking.

I slide down the vines slowly, ignoring the fact that they're tearing my palms to shreds. Tears gather in the corners of my eyes, thinking about what I was about to do. If Newt wasn't here...

Newt saved me.

My feet hit the ground, and I wobble, trying to keep my balance. I look up at Newt's relieved face, tears still running down his cheeks. I wonder what he'll do to me-yell at me? Drag me back to the Glade?

Suddenly, he wraps his arms around me, burying his face in the side of my neck. My breath hitches before I hug him back, starting to sob into his shoulder.

"Shh, shh. It's okay."

I hug him tightly, taking in his smell. Freshly-cut grass and soap-comforting.

"Newt," I say shakily. "I was going to-"

"I know. I know. Don't think about it."

"But I could've-what if I did?"

"Don't worry. You didn't, you're safe now."

He rubs my back in small circles, and I slow my breathing, laying my head on his shoulder. The whole thing is confusing-especially his sudden behavior change, but I don't care at the moment. I don't care where I am, or who's watching. I want to stay this way forever.

Finally, after who knows how long, I've calmed down enough to reluctantly ease out of the hug. Newt hangs on to my hand, studying me. I'm still pretty shaken up, and I obviously look terrible.

Newt gently pulls me over to the wall and we sit down. He leans against the wall and sighs, closing his eyes. He never let go of my hand, but I'm not complaining.

"What did you mean?" I ask.

He opens his eyes and looks over at me, raising his eyebrows.

"You said...you tried it. You jumped too. What...what happened?"

He sighs and takes my other hand. "Did you ever wonder where I got my limp?"

I gasp. It couldn't be true.

"I tried to end my life, and It failed. All I got was this shuck limp, and it was the most painful thing. I couldn't walk for a month, and jumping didn't put me out of my misery-it created more. I couldn't..."

He looks down.

"I couldn't let you do that to yourself."

I sigh, shaking my heat. "Newt, you're too confusing. Why would you care about what happens to me? Now, you care so much about me and what I do to myself, but the past few weeks, you've-"

"I've acted like I hated you, I know. It was the worst way to act, because I could never...I wouldn't want you to..."

"Newt, you promised. You said you'd tell me. That's half the reason I'm not sprawled on the ground right now. Newt, I need to know you feel. I don't care if you tell me why, I just need to know."

He pauses for a moment, and then he spills it all. Every last word, reason, and feeling.


	13. Misunderstood

"I don't hate you, I never hated you, I never will hate you. See, I _tried _to hate you, but that was just so I didn't have to tell you the truth. I tried to _force_ myself to hate you, with every fiber of my being, but...I'm pretty sure that's impossible. I don't think anyone could hate you. You're right, I was scared, and I did some stupid things because of it. I liked you-I still like you-a lot. I realized that the second you came out of that box. And I told Minho first, I told him how I felt. I don't know why I picked him to tell-maybe because he's the big 'tough guy' and would seem to know a lot about girls. Sure, he laughed at first, but then he got serious. What he told me, I should have listened to from the beginning. He said 'Just tell her how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, then too bad. You can move on. But it won't be nagging you at the back of your mind constantly.'. I didn't listen. I was too afraid to tell you, so I came up with my own solution-just ignoring you until the feelings went away. Well, they bloody didn't just _go away_, and I figured I had to do something else. So then, I tried to be mean to you, because I thought that would make them disappear-they just got worse! And Tommy told me that you'd gotten upset because of how I'd been treating you, and him and Minho came to lecture me again. I didn't realize I was hurting you, I wasn't trying to at all. When you came, I was upset with the way I acted. I was hating myself. And I just snapped, and that's when I realized what I'd actually been doing to you. Everything I did, it was the wrong way to show you how I feel. And now..."

Newt's voice cracks, and I see tears in his eyes. I'd started to cry again somewhere in the middle of his speech.

"I don't think I can ever fix what I broke. Our relationship...this will always be a part of it. If I could change the past...I would, in a heartbeat. And I know, it's very cliché, but...I love you."

He stares into my eyes, and my mouth drops open.

"Love _is_ a strong word. But that's the only word that describes what I feel about you. And my only worry is that you won't accept this. That you'll hate me for doing this-all of this. And you have every right to."

His head drops at the last sentence, and he slouches into his hands. I can't believe it. He was so mean to me, and I didn't even realize what was happening until the last second-it was like a train slamming into my chest at full force, shattering my heart on impact and scattering useless emotions everywhere.

I was right-his is love too, just misunderstood.

But I know I can't risk everything-yet. We have to build up trust first, and have a friendship before it turns into something more. I know what he's thinking, and I don't want to hurt him by saying this, but it's the truth. He has to accept it and understand, or we can never fix what was broken.


	14. Get Going

I gently put my fingers under his chin and tilt it upwards so I look into his eyes. Soft, comforting brown eyes.

"Newt. You're right, about our relationship-it's taken a serious blow. But nothing can't be repaired. We can fix this-we will fix this. And Newt...I love you too. I did, this whole time, even when you screamed in my face and turned your back on me, I still loved you."

His face lights up, and he takes my hands. I hate seeing him so hopeful, especially before what I'm about to tell him.

"But we can't start off like that. We can't go from hating to loving in a day. A good, strong relationship needs trust. It needs happiness, it needs good memories, it needs time, and it needs friendship. That's what we're going to give it before anything else. And as much as I want to tell the world that I love you, we have to start with a different love. A friendship love. And then, maybe, it can turn into something else."

I sigh, not wanting to see the reaction in his eyes. But when I finally look up at him, I see acceptance and understanding. He's smiling when he says,

"You're absolutely right, and I couldn't ask for anything more. I'm looking forward to this friendship, Greenie."

I smack his arm playfully. He grins and stands up, looking around.

"We should get going," he says, checking his watch.

"Yeah, you should get going, lovebirds," someone says, emerging from behind a wall.

"Minho!" I yell, glaring at him.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot, 'friendship love'," he snickers.

"What are you doing here, Minho?" Newt grumbles, annoyed.

"What are _you _doing here? I'm a Runner, I'm _supposed _to be here."

Newt and I share a look, before I mutter, "We just needed a quiet place to talk."

"Really?" Minho says, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't worry about it, Minho, we have to get back to the Glade," Newt protests, starting off down the hallway.

"First of all, that's the wrong way. Second of all, you're gonna have to tell me what you guys were talking about. You obviously made up, but I only heard the last little bit. We're gonna have a nice, friendly discussion back at the Glade."

Minho begins to jog off, and I take one last lingering look at the place where I could've died. Newt notices me looking, and I whisper,

"Thank you."

He grins, "I guess that's what it took to get me to apologize."

I start to jog after Minho. "It better not be that way every time you're a jerk, because I am _not_ getting back up there."

Newt just wiggles his eyebrows as he jogs next to me.

"Oh, and I am _so _telling Minho that you called him a 'big tough guy'."

Newt's cheeks go bright red. "Don't you dare."

"I heard my name!" Minho croons from ahead.

I laugh. Life was about to get so much better.


	15. Crime and Punishment

"Where have you guys _been_?!"

The second I exit the Maze, someone grabs the front of my shirt. I see Newt has met the same fate.

"Hey, Alby," Newt says breathlessly, still panting from running in the Maze.

"_Hey_? You just came out of the shucking Maze after _sneaking_ in there for an hour and you say _hey_? We've been looking for you the entire day! We thought a shuck Griever got you!"

I chuckle nervously. "Oh-h-h."

I shouldn't have said anything. Alby turns to face me, gripping my shirt tighter.

"And you? What's going on here? You've barely eaten anything for over a week and you haven't spoken a word to anyone!"

I try to ignore it, but I see Newt's face fall with guilt. It serves him right, but it still hurts to see him like that.

Alby's still yelling at me. "Then you and Newt run off together into the shuck Maze without telling anybody? Did I not make the rules clear when you first showed up, Greenie?"

I sigh. "You made them very clear, Alby, and I broke them. I broke the rules, and I deserve punishment. But Newt only followed me in there, he doesn't-"

"No," Alby interrupts. I can see his dislike towards me growing with every second. "Both you and Newt broke the rules, and I would throw you both in the Slammer, but I don't think I can trust you two alone in there."

Newt and I share matching blushes.

"Alby, put them down, you're _choking _them," Minho says. I almost forgot he was here.

Alby reluctantly lets Newt and I go, and I shoot Minho a relieved glance.

"Minho, get to the Map Room and stay out of this," Alby demands, and Minho reluctantly jogs away.

Alby looks back and forth between Newt and I. Newt takes a small protective step closer to me, and Alby shoots him a glare. The words Alby says next seem hard for him to get out, and he looks me in the eye when he says them.

"Now, I don't want to do this, but it's for the good of the Glade. Like you always say, Newt, _order_."

Newt makes a face.

"Ever since you guys have been talking to each other, bad things have happened. Therefore, I'm going to have to ban you from seeing and talking to each other."

"What!?" I blurt out.

"No!" Newt yells.

"I'm sorry," Alby says, and he seems genuinely sorry. "I told you, it's not something I _want_ to do, but we all have a pact. Follow the rules, or get punished. This seems like a fine punishment."

I look at the ground, trying not to get angry at Alby. He's just trying to keep order. Newt, though, has other ideas.

"Alright, Alby, come on. That's just bloody _childish_, banning us from talking to each other. What kind of a bloody punishment is that?"

Alby is quick to respond. "A punishment is something that serves as retribution. It's not supposed to make you happy, it's supposed to prevent you from screwing up again. And if this doesn't prevent you guys from screwing up again, there'll be another punishment, and it'll be worse. Newt, do I have to take you back to kindergarten?"

Newt kicks the dirt, muttering under his breath.

"Shut your hole, it's only three days. But if you don't shape up, it'll be worse. Now get away from each other, your time starts now."

Alby turns over his shoulder and starts to walk away. I sigh.

"Here's to friendship," I say quietly.

Newt laughs, and puts a hand on my arm. "Here's to friendship."

"Get _away_ from each other, or I swear, this punishment will be _permanent_!"

Three days. Only three days to go.

**Ok, so I don't usually put an A/N at the bottom, but I just wanted to thank you guys for all the views, favorites, follows, and comments! It really means a lot to me. I was just writing this story for fun and I'm surprised so many people actually read it! I hope you guys liked the update, I have a surprise planned and I hope it doesn't break your hearts :)**

** SwiftfireTheF.A.Y. : Thank you so much! I actually came up with the quote, they just pop into my head and I'm like "ooh, that would be good!"**

** Vicko7: Thank you! And your story is awesome!**

** AwesomeGirl: Thank you! "Heartbreakingly awesome" was my goal :)**

**Keep commenting/favoriting/following! You guys are so sweet 3 I love you guys :***


	16. Alby Claus

Retribution. Alby had called it retribution.

Whatever retribution is, I hate it.

Alby had stuck to what he said. He'd even informed the other Gladers about it, and I'd never felt as embarrassed in my life. Whenever I entered a room with Newt in it, they would usher me out. Same thing happened if Newt entered a room I was in-they would grab him and push him out the door.

It's terrible. It's the worst punishment ever. It's like I have to wear a sign around my neck that says "FRIENDSHIP ON HOLD".

But there were moments-amazing moments-when Newt would catch my eye and give me his signature smirk. And those moments wouldn't be moments without the punishment, right?

Stay optimistic, Kelly.

When I wake up this morning, the first thing I think is, _Last day._

One more day.

And then we can start making some progress-finally.

I quickly change into a purple long-sleeved shirt with jeans and my boots. At the last second, I throw my hair into a messy bun and start heading to the fields.

"Last day," someone says behind me, and I quickly recognize the accent as Newt's.

I grin back at him. "It won't be the last day if you keep hanging around me."

"Aww, you're so eager to get rid of me," he snickers, gently pulling me closer by my arm.

"Newt, Alby's watching," I warn, pulling away from him and poking his nose.

"That guy is scarier than bloody Santa Claus."

We can't remember our families, but we can remember Santa Claus. That's what I call priorities.

"Were you two..._talking to each other_?" Alby croons.

Speak of the devil.

"Ah, Alby. That's a funny question. On the other hand, I've been a good girl this year! I want a teddy bear, and...ooh, a lollipop!" I say, plastering a grin to my face.

Newt snorts and doubles over with laughter. Alby's stone expression doesn't even waver.

"The only thing you'll be getting this year is another day of punishment."

My heart drops. "Come on, Alby..."

Alby glares at me. "I'll be serious if you two are within fifty feet of each other when I count to five."

I look over at Newt.

"One...," Alby threatens.

Newt and I dash in opposite directions, and I can hear Alby's laughter quieting as I run farther away.

It's memories like these that build up a relationship.


	17. Friendship Day

"Wake up, Greenbean!"

Ugh. People have a bad habit of waking me up early in the mornings. Without opening my eyes, I reach a sleepy hand up and push the offender away by what feels like their face.

"Ow. Happy Friendship Day to you, too."

I open my eyes slightly, hiding a smile. Newt leans over my bed, lightly shaking my shoulder.

"Friendship Day?" I mutter.

"I made it up. It's our first day of official friendship!"

I laugh. "You made up a holiday for us? How sweet, but you do sound like you're in kindergarten."

He sticks out his tongue and walks towards the door.

"I have a full day of festivities planned! It'll be so exciting!"

I smirk. "Really?"

"No, but at least we can talk to each other today! Come on, get up, get up!"

I laugh and hop out of bed. I can't help but think of how much his personality and attitude towards me have changed in only three days. It's definitely a welcome change.

I hear Newt whistling outside as I change into leggings and a pink tank top with a white jacket. Then I pull on my boots and put my hair in its usual ponytail.

"So, Newtie, what's our first _festivity_?"

He sputters. "Newtie? I swear, if you call me that, I will make you work as a Slicer."

"Thanks for the idea. Anyway, Newtie, what's the plan?"

Newt just grins and ushers me out the door. He seems to be in a pleasant mood, and I can tell he's hiding something. We sit down at breakfast, together, on the same bench, for the first time in a month.

"So, I was thinking," Newt starts.

"Hey, lovebirds!"

Minho roughly shoves himself in between Newt and I, pushing our food aside and plopping his down. I hear Newt groan.

"So, did you two kiss yet? Pledge your eternal love? C'mon, I need details! And hurry up, the Doors open soon."

"Minho, we are _not_ dating, for the billionth time," Newt grumbles.

"Well, we did pledge our eternal love-did we not?" I comment offhandedly.

"Ooh, you did what?!" Minho says eagerly, looking like an excited puppy. Newt's face is about as red as his untouched apple.

"Just kidding," I say in a purposefully sing-song voice.

Minho looks from Newt to me and back again. He smiles, the slightest bit.

"Ah, so there _is_ something going on here. Hmm, I _wonder_ what you two were doing alone in the Maze before I got there…."

I smack his arm. "Minho, I _swear_-"

"Hey lovebirds! Hey Minho!"

Thomas sits across from us. Newt curses under his breath.

"Hey, Tom, I just got some serious info on their relationship," Minho grins evilly.

Newt stabs his apple with a fork, very harshly.

"Ooh, spill!" Thomas squeals.

"They pledged their eternal love!" Minho squeaks.

"You two are like teenage girls," I laugh.

"Eep! Did he put a ring on it?" Thomas gasps, picking up my left hand and checking my fingers.

"Thomas, _stop it_. Minho, why are you _encouraging _this?" Newt cries helplessly.

"Because it's amusing. Almost as amusing as the steam pouring out of your ears right now."

Thomas laughs, and Newt brandishes his apple-fork menacingly.

"If you don't shut up right now, I will actually bloody beat both of you to death with this. I am 100% serious."

Minho and Thomas share a look.

"Don't you think that might be a little gory for your girl to watch?" Thomas asks innocently.

My eyes turn steely. "Being a female is not going to stop me from helping him beat you to death if you're not out of this room in ten seconds."

"Well, that sounds like the Doors opening!"

"Better get going!"

The two scramble out the door. Newt exhales and moves back next to me.

"Well, that was fun," I say.

"_Fun_? That's your idea of fun!?" Newt cries.

"Oh, lighten up, Newtie. They're just joking around."

He smiles. "Yeah, I guess. So anyway, back to-"

"ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY UP! OUT OF MY KITCHEN AND GET TO WORK!"

Newt grimaces. "You know, I kind of expected that to happen."

I laugh. "It's fine. We can talk at lunch, right?"

"Yeah. I'll bring the picnic. The _private_ picnic. Without any of _them_ to bother us." He gestures towards the door.

I grin and ruffle his hair. "That's my Newtie."

"Aww," someone coos quietly.

I turn around to find Thomas and Minho crouching behind a trash can, listening to our conversation. Sighing, I grab my trash and dump it on their heads.

"Hey!" Minho protests.

"Sorry, missed the trash can. Maybe next time you should pick a better spot to eavesdrop."

"Good idea," Thomas says with disgust, pulling a banana peel out of his hair.

**Ok, so I decided to do another A/N because they're cool! Yay! This chapter was really long and fun to write because of Friendship Day (now an official holiday FYI) and Minho and Thomas-can they please be my brothers? Please? Anyway, thanks for keeping up all of your favority/followy/reviewy stuff, I appreciate it! And I'm thinking of adding in two more girl characters-Monica and Michaela. They may or may not date Tommy and Minho, but I don't know who will date who exactly or if I'm even going to put them in. **

**And then you have my big, dreadful, heartbreaking surprise to not really look forward to. It's coming in a couple of chapters *gasp* So until next time, my wonderful readers! You're amazing and I love you :***


	18. Your Brother

Okay, I'll admit it-I've been looking forward to the picnic all day.

I can't help glancing at Frypan's kitchen, waiting for the lunch crowd to gather. I can't help searching the grounds for Newt's smile as he jogs over to me with a basket slung over his arm. And, oh, what I would do for one of those fancy Runners' watches.

But all of my hopes are crushed when I hear the deafening siren.

_That's odd_, I think. _We just got a new Greenie a few days ago._

I jog over to the Box with a couple other Track-Hoes. Everyone seems to be just as confused as I am.

We join the crowd that's gathering around the Box doors. I peer at the metal grates anxiously. Then I hear the jerk of the Box reaching its final destination, and the doors slowly churn open.

Newt and Gally rush forward.

"What?" Gally squeaks as he sees what's in the Box.

I crane my neck, but my view is blocked by other Gladers' heads. I catch a glimpse of Newt's face-it's white with shock.

"This can't be…," Gally is whispering, shocked.

"He's too young," Newt matches Gally's hushed tone.

A confused murmur breaks out between the Gladers. I try to push my way to the front, finally slipping between two Slicers.

I eagerly look into the Box and gasp. A thin boy is sprawled on the ground. He has brown hair, its color remarkably similar to my own. He wears a tattered striped T-shirt and baggy khaki pants, and his eyes are closed. He seems to be asleep on the floor.

But the most remarkable thing about him is that he can't be more than eight years old.

Suddenly, the boy sits up and his eyes open. They're chestnut colored..._like my own_.

His eyes search the crowd quickly, his features showing absolute terror.

He finds my face, and his eyes lock in.

"Kelly!" he exclaims. His voice is ragged and dry.

"What?" I ask disbelievingly.

"Kelly, I've been looking for you! They took everything from me. Everything but you."

I step back in surprise. "Wh-who are you? How do you know my name?"

The boy's face falls. "You don't remember."

I shake my head, in a daze.

"Kelly...I'm your brother."

My mouth drops open.

"You're not...you _can't_ be," I croak.

The boy looks so hurt. "I am. That's all I know, all I remember! I can't even remember my own name, but I can remember yours, and I know for sure that you're my sister."

I study his face, willing any memory at all to come back to me. There's nothing.

I feel a comforting arm drape over my shoulders. Newt looks pained as he stands next to me, his eyes moving from my face to the boy's repeatedly.

"Do you know him?" Newt asks quietly.

"No. I-I wish I did, really," I say, gazing at the small boy. "But there's...nothing."

Newt sighs. "Well, I might as well help you out of there, little fella. The Creators are terrible people for sending you here...you're so young."

Newt reaches a hand down to the boy, who recoils.

"No," the boy says.

Newt raises an eyebrow.

"I don't know who you are, and I don't trust you! Why am I here?" the boy cries.

"We don't know," Gally steps in, trying to look comforting for once in his life. "No one knows why they're here. Come on out, let us explain."

The boy looks frightened. "What if you're one of them? What if you're all...what if you _are _them?! My own sister…," he cries, a tear falling down his cheek.

"No, no, it's alright," I say soothingly. "You can trust them, and you can trust me. Come on up, sweetie."

He hesitates, looking at my outstretched hand. Then he reluctantly lets me help him up.

"Welcome to the Glade," Alby mutters. I had almost forgotten he was here.

The boy looks around, surveying the area. He meets my eyes once, and before I can stop him, he bolts toward the open Maze Door.

**A/N:**

**So I ditched the idea of Monica/Michaela and added another male OC :) thats what Group A is for, right? He's going to be a main but fade to a background character eventually. Two chapters until heartbreak!**

**Peace out :D**


	19. Just In Case

The Gladers stand in shock.

"Someone stop him!" Gally yells.

A small herd of Gladers, including Newt and myself, follow the boy, shouting and yelling. For someone his age, he sure is fast.

"Wait!" I call.

The boy keeps running. I can't bear to think of what will happen if he makes it into the Maze-or if he runs into a Griever.

We chase him until we reach the Door, and Newt almost snatches the back of his shirt, but the boy gets away. His footsteps echo through the stony Maze corridors and then he disappears.

I hesitate at the Door, wondering if I should enter. I take one step forward onto the cold stone floor before a strong pair of arms wrap themselves around my waist, preventing me from going anywhere. I whip my head around angrily, only to find that it's Newt holding me back.

"You're _not_ going into the Maze." he glances at the waiting Gladers. "Any of you. Get back to work, we'll take care of this."

The Gladers look back and forth between one another before reluctantly trudging back to their workplaces.

"Newt, I have to go. I have to find him!"

"We can leave that to the Runners. I am _not_ letting you risk your life in there!"

"Newt, _I'll _be fine," I sigh, exasperated, and rotate to face him. His arms still keep their rock-hard grip around me.

"It's the boy I'm worried about-he looked like he was eight years old!" I protest.

"I'm sorry, I can't let you go. What if you...try to pull a _stunt_ like last time?"

My glare hardens. Now I'm getting annoyed. "Newt, this child is _eight years old_. He could be getting attacked by Grievers as we speak! We can't just sit here and do nothing!"

"I'm afraid that's what we _have _to do!"

"No, we don't, slinthead."

An idea forms in my head-one I'll regret for as long as I live. Quickly, I kiss Newt on the cheek. His eyes widen, and he loosens his grip in shock.

That's just what I needed. I break through his grasp and call over my shoulder,

"Just in case I don't come back."

Then I follow the boy's tracks and run into the Maze.

**A/N:**

**Sorry this was a short one :( Prepare yourself for the next chapter! I am not responsible for any heartbreaks, tears, screams, or lost articles.**


	20. We'll Make It

Of course, Newt's going to follow me.

I run for a while, keeping an eye out for the little boy, but then I eventually stop and let him catch up.

The second he sees me, he commands, "Get out."

I almost laugh. "I'm already here, and that means there's no turning back now. Besides, I'm not scared of the Maze. If you are, feel free to go."

"You know I can't! I have to stay here with you!"

I sigh. "Newt. Sweetie. Look, I appreciate the fact that you care about me, but I don't need constant protection. I am a girl, but I can still whip Griever butt just as well as any of you _guys_ can. If you want to stay, then stay, but I'm not leaving."

Newt hesitates, looking down. "All right, but _only _until sundown. We get out of here far before then."

I grin and give him a hug. "Aww, thanks, Newtie!"

"Don't mention it," he says drily.

We search for the boy all day, but he's nowhere to be found. Newt sighs dejectedly and slumps against a wall.

"We should start getting back."

"But he's still out here! He'll never survive the night!" I protest.

"Neither will we if we stay out here any longer. Come on, let's go."

I groan, internally agreeing with him but not wanting to show it. We start to trudge back to the Door. Newt keeps checking his watch, looking anxious.

"Relax," I tell him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We're almost there. We'll make it."

"Yeah," he says, but I can sense the fear in his voice.

Then we turn down a corridor, and my heart literally stops.

A Griever stands directly in front of us, blocking our path to the door.

Newt's face is pale. "I knew something like this would bloody happen."

"We can get through this," I try to act brave, but my voice cracks, exposing my fear. I draw my knife.

Newt's eyes widen. "Where did you get a knife?!"

"You guys should keep your weapons in a more secret place if you don't want people taking them. Anyway, that's not important right now."

The Griever advances, interrupting our conversation. Newt draws his own long knife as the Griever click-clacks toward us with leisure.

Newt and I stand shoulder to shoulder. He squeezes my hand reassuringly.

"You're right, we'll make it," he exhales.

But this time I'm the pessimistic one. "What if we don't, Newt?"

"We _will_."

Now the Griever is in our range. Suddenly, its grabber claw whips out and snatches at my shirt. I barely deflect it.

Newt lunges at the machine's blobby body, and it quickly retracts, protecting itself with its long spikes.

"I'll distract it, you attack," I say breathlessly.

Newt nods in approval.

I then lunge forward and slice at the Griever, splitting a bit of its skin. It's not enough to seriously injure the monster, but it still squeals angrily.

"Oh yeah? Want some more? Bring it!" I scream.

The Griever wheels over, focusing completely on me.

Newt takes his chance. He spins his knife expertly, landing it deep in the Griever's fleshy blubber. The Griever makes a terrifying sound somewhere between a scream and metallic clatter. Then it slowly deflates, yellow goop leaking from its body.

"Eugh," I grimace.

Newt turns to me, wiping sweat from his brow.

"Well, you were right, we did it," he says.

A shudder runs throughout the Maze, and the ground shifts.

"Not yet we didn't!" I say, grabbing his arm and pulling him as I run towards the closing Door.

"We're not gonna make it!" Newt says exactly what's on my mind.

"Yes we are!" I reply, trying to stay positive.

We rush towards the opening. I can see a group of Gladers waiting for us, shouting encouragements as the Door shuts out their faces, one by one. We're almost there. Just a few yards...feet...

"Just in case I don't make it," Newt says.

"Wha-"

Newt quickly presses his lips to mine. Then he shoves me, hard, out of the Door. I hear it close behind me.

I collapse into the ground in the Glade, breathing heavily. I sit up quickly, looking around for Newt.

"Newt?" I ask, my voice shaking.

The Gladers around me bow their heads, and I realize what happened.

Newt is trapped in the Maze. Alone. For an entire night.

And it's all my fault.

**A/N:**

…

**I'm sorry.**

**I actually almost cried when I wrote this.**

**Also, he may or may not survive.**


	21. Odds

The pain hits me so harshly it's physical.

I can feel it explode like a water balloon, sending emotions washing over me. Regret, disbelief, hatred, sadness, guilt-too many to count, all bottled up inside of me.

And this is when the bottle shatters. It's like shards of glass ripping my insides to shreds. I can feel his absence, almost like a phantom limb, and it hurts more than anything I've ever felt before.

The pain overflows, escaping me in a loud sob. I lean against the closed Door, crying my eyes out.

"No, no, no...no, no!" I mutter repeatedly, squeezing my eyes shut and pounding a clenched fist on the stone.

I remember the day I first got into the Glade, when Alby told me the rules.

_No one's ever made it a through a night in the Maze and survived._

That's what he'd said. I hadn't paid that much attention then, but the reality of it finally hits me.

Newt was alone in the Maze. At night, with Grievers, and without any supplies but his knife.

He'll never survive.

I let myself fall to the ground, crying without shame or care about who sees me. I feel arms around me, comforting words whispered in my ears, but the only arms I want around me are Newt's. The only voice I want to hear is his.

And, thanks to me, that will never happen again.

Quiet voices around me blend together, creating a blur of words that gives me a headache and adds to the already unbearable pain. I feel like screaming.

I feel someone sit next to me and start to rub my arm. I sit up angrily, but then realize it's only Thomas. He looks at me with hurt in his eyes, and I fall into his arms.

"Thomas, he-he's gone!" I sob.

I feel Thomas bow his head. He says nothing, but continues to hug me.

"He's gone…," I cry, surrendering to the agony that's taking over my body.

Minho sits on my other side. He's not usually a very soft person, so he just watches me awkwardly, but his presence still comforts me.

"He's not gone for sure," Minho says quietly.

"No one's ever survived a night, Minho!" I yell, my sadness turning to anger.

"Kelly, listen," Thomas says quietly.

I ignore him, standing up and surveying the small Glader crowd. My eyes find someone.

The boy-my "brother".

Before I even realize what I'm doing, I grab the boy and pin him to the wall.

"Why are you here?" I demand, feeling slightly insane. "How did you get out?"

The boy looks terrified. "I-I'm sorry, I ran out of there a few hours before you! I didn't know you went in there to look for me!"

"Well, we _did_!" I yell in his face. "And now he's stuck in there, and it's _your_ fault!"  
The boy cowers from me. I feel someone rip me off of the small kid. Alby grips my arms so tightly it hurts, and stares directly into my eyes.

"Look, slinthead, we all know Newt's shucked, and we're far from happy, alright? But there's nothing we can do. We wait 'till morning. And stay off the poor boy, it's not his fault you two decided to go in there-directly disobeying my orders, nonetheless. You're lucky we ain't locking you up right now."

Alby lets go of me harshly, and my blood boils.

"Thanks for that, Alby, because I didn't realize that it was all my fault before," I snap sarcastically. "As if I wasn't drowning in guilt already."

Alby turns around, starts to say something, but then closes his mouth. He mutters something to Jeff before walking toward the Homestead dejectedly.

Jeff gives me a look, raising his eyebrows, before jogging back with Alby. A few Gladers follow, leaving only a half dozen behind.

"Kelly, listen," the little boy says. I look at him, and he's biting his lip nervously. "I was being foolish when I ran into that Maze. It was never my intention to hurt you. I-I love you, you're my sister!"

The boy's lip trembles. I feel more guilt, if possible, for what I'd done to the poor kid.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I'm just upset. We all know who's fault this is-mine."

I hold out my arms, and the boy rushes into them. I can tell he's relieved.

"It's no one's fault," Minho speaks up. "No one wanted this to happen, and no one's to blame. But it did happen, and all we can do now is hope for the best."

I look down, and Minho wraps an arm around me. He's right, but it's not making me feel any better.

"Kelly, Newt is the strongest, most determined person I know," Thomas says, putting a hand on my shoulder. "If anyone can survive a night, it's him. I promise you. Have faith in him."

"I do! I have faith in him-in all of you. But its hard to survive out there during the day-nearly impossible to survive at night. No matter how much faith I have, the odds are against him."

"The odds are never completely against you. Even if they're a million to one, you still have that one to count on. No matter how unlikely, _nothing _is impossible," Minho says.

The three boys wrap me in a hug, and it comforts me slightly. We stay that way for a while, and when I finally feel like I've calmed down enough to function normally, I sit back down and lean against the cold stone wall.

"Do you want to get back to the Homestead?" Thomas asks. "Get something to eat?"

Directly on cue, my stomach rumbles angrily. I realize I haven't eaten since breakfast-neither has Newt.

I try not to let the thought really get to my head, but fresh tears still well up when I think about poor, lonely, hungry Newt, wandering the Maze alone.

That is, if he's not dead yet.

Quickly, I clear my brain before my thoughts overwhelm me. Then I look back at Thomas.

"No, I'll...I think I'll stay here."

"Want us to bring some food?" Minho asks.

I nod. Minho and Thomas walk off slowly, conversing quietly. The little boy stays with me.

"So," he says. "you really don't remember me?"

I shake my head. "What's your name? I never really asked."

"Nico," he says.

Then, at possibly the worst time, the memories come flooding back.

**A/N:**

**It's getting better, I promise. Have faith. Newt is strong, he won't die. Right?**

**Anyway, only a select few will know what Nico looks like, and who he's based off of. I kind of picture him as blond now, even though that really doesn't show resemblance to Kelly. He has a really cute, high-pitched voice too.**

**Let's all pray for Newty!**


	22. Last One

_The memories flash in my mind, creating a timeline of my childhood._

_The first memory is of a familiar, beautiful brown-haired woman with hazel eyes and budding wrinkles chasing two kids around the house. The kids both have chestnut hair and eyes, like their mother. The girl looks around 10, the boy only about 3. The kids rush into a closet and shut the door, whispering excitedly as the mother creeps outside with laughter in her eyes._

_Then another memory: the same two kids, a few years older, riding a roller coaster at an amusement park. They scream happily as the roller coaster dips over a hill, and the younger one grabs his sister's hand._

_Next I see the kids eating dinner at a diner with the woman-their mom. _

_The kids hiding under a blanket, reading books with flashlights._

_The kids opening presents on Christmas morning._

_Countless memories flash before my eyes, all consisting of the two growing kids-Nico and I._

_The last memory stands out, only because it's the most depressing. Nico and I look only a year or so younger than we are now. Tears are streaming down both of our faces, and Nico is clinging onto my hand, gripping with all his might. People in white lab coats with WICKED spelled across the chest are tugging me away from him roughly._

"_Let her go!" Nico sobs, giving my arm a pull._

_The WICKED people say nothing, continuing to pry me away from him. I help Nico by trying to wiggle out of my captors' grasps, but they're too strong. I feel my sweaty fingers slipping from Nico's soft ones._

"_Don't leave me!" Nico pleads._

"_I'll find you," I promise him as I slide out of his grasp. "I'll see you again!"_

_Nico crumbles to the ground, sobbing, as the memory slips away. _

I'm whisked back into reality. Nico is staring at me, a scared look on his face.

"Kelly? Are you okay? You went into a...daze, or something."

I put my hands on his forearms, almost unbelieving that I'd finally found him. "I promised I'd find you."

His face lights up, and he throws his arms around me. "You remember!"

I hug him back, grateful to have fulfilled my promise. I swore to myself that I'd protect him, and now I'd never let him go again.

"Ten minutes ago, you tried to choke the poor kid, and now it's a lovefest? What's going on?"

I grin up at Minho, who's holding a basket with food. "I remembered, Minho! He _is_ my brother! And I would _not_ have choked him. Probably."

Nico's eyes go wide, but I just laugh. Thomas comes out from behind Minho and smiles.

"Good to see you're cheered up. We brought a picnic!"

The dinner bell chimes, right on time, making me remember Newt's promise of a private picnic. Just the two of us.

Suddenly I'm not so hungry anymore.

Thomas and Minho share a worried look as my expression goes sour. I'm still leaning against the Maze Door, and at that moment, I decide I won't leave that spot until morning. If Newt's stuck in the Maze, I'm going to be as close to him as possible.

"Where do you want to eat?" Thomas asks uneasily. "Here, or-"

"Here," I say immediately. "Definitely here."

Minho shrugs and lays out the food. I reluctantly eat, but all I can think about is how hungry Newt must be.

"Are you sure we can't just climb the walls?" I ask, impatient, after I finish my sandwich.  
Minho smirks. "Kelly, Alby already wants to slit your throat. I highly advise you not to go in the Maze again. And, it's for your own good. Being in the Maze at night is almost certain-"

Thomas shoots him an angry glare. Minho stops mid-sentence

"I mean, uh, the vines don't reach the top of the walls anyway."

"Yeah," I manage, my voice cracking.

Minho winces. "Kelly, look, I-"

"I know, I know. Everyone is fully informed that…," I pause, tears catching in my throat, "Newt probably isn't going to be alive tomorrow. But there's nothing we can do. Just wait 'till morning."

Nico looks down into his lap. Thomas and Minho look pained.

"Don't try to deny it. We all know the truth," I say, my voice soft.

Thomas stands up, not saying a word. He hugs me, burying his face in my shoulder for a comforting moment, and then simply walks off. Minho follows his lead, wrapping his arms around me before he treks away without a word. When Minho catches up to Thomas, Thomas smacks him on the head. Minho rubs his skull, and they converse inaudibly.

"Do you want me to stay?" Nico asks.

I shake my head, tearing my eyes away from the guys. "I...I guess I just need some alone time."

He nods, waiting there awkwardly for a moment. I lean over and kiss his forehead, and he smiles. I watch my little brother walk away, leaving me alone in the eerie evening light.

I turn to face the stone, tracing small patterns on it with my fingers absentmindedly. Newt is the only thing on my mind, and I want nothing more than to be able to see him again.

I sigh, laying my head on the Door and pulling my knees up to my chest. I try not to think about what could be happening to Newt right at this moment, but it's to no avail. I'm actually considering trying to pry open the Door when I hear it.

A scream.

Newt's scream.

I can hear it, echoing through the cool air as clearly as if he's right beside me.

It's the most terrible, traumatizing thing I've ever heard. He sounds terrified, and it kills me to think about what could scare him this much. It sounds like it's tearing his vocal chords-and my heart-to shreds.

And the worst thing, the part that feels like a thousand knives in my heart, is the fact that I can do absolutely nothing.

"Just wait 'till morning," I whisper, tears slipping down my cheeks.

I cry silently, pulling myself as close to the Door-and him-as possible. I remember the feeling of his lips pressed to mine-even though it was only for a moment, it was the most amazing thing I'd ever felt.

It couldn't have been our last one.

I won't be our last one.

"Please," I whisper to no one, "please don't let it be our last one."

I drift off into a restless sleep, resting on the cold stone Maze, Griever sounds and screams serving as a twisted lullaby.

**A/N**

**Ah! Sorry about the formatting before, tell me if this one is all weird! That happens sometimes...I don't know why. But this is a longer one so that might make up for it :)**


	23. No Matter What Happens

I awaken with a jolt.

_Newt._

He's the first thing I think of when my eyes shoot open.

The morning light greets me, and I wince at the brightness. I rub my eyes, shrugging off the blankets that someone had placed on me during the night. The light and barely rising sun tells me that it's early morning, maybe around 7:00 A.M.

The Doors will be opening soon.

Thinking of the Doors opening makes me feel a mix of excitement and dread. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I can't help it. The only thing I want is to see Newt again.

I scan my surroundings. A few people are trudging around, but I suspect most of the Gladers are still sleeping or eating. The Glade Mother (a.k.a. Tom and Minho) even laid out a little breakfast for me.

"How sweet," I mutter, grinning, as I pick up a piece of charred bacon.

"Aren't I?" someone asks smugly from beside me.

I sputter, choking on my food. "Thomas!"

"Sorry," he laughs, not sounding sorry at all.

"Were you here the whole time?"

"Nah, I just snuck up on you. You're very easy to scare."  
"For _obvious reasons, _I'm just a little on edge," I deadpan.

His expression turns serious. "Whatever happens, Minho and I will be here for you, okay?"

I nod, and Tom sits down next to me. "How's the bacon?"

"Burnt."

He smirks, picking up a piece. "Of course it is. Frypan made it."

I force a smile. I can tell he's trying to cheer me up, but my head is swimming. I just want the suspense to end-either Newt is dead, or he isn't.

I hear a cluster of footsteps coming towards us, and I look up. It's a pack of guys-Minho, Alby, and Chuck.

"Morning," Alby grumbles, looking bored and eyeing the Door.

"How'd you sleep?" Minho asks, shooting Alby a sharp glare.

"As well as you can, I suppose, when your...friend is stuck in the Maze overnight." I take a while to choose a word to describe Newt; he's definitely more than just a friend, but...how much more?

"I don't think any of us slept very well," Chuck frowns. "I really hope Newt's okay."

"We all do," Alby snaps, meeting Minho's stony eyes. Minho raises an eyebrow, stepping closer to the dark-skinned boy.

"You know, Alby, don't you think-"

"Slim it, you two, we have bigger problems," Thomas interrupts grimly.

Right on cue, the Door shudders.

My heart drops. I suddenly feel empty, like I can't breathe.

"Whatever happens, we'll be here. Remember that," Minho says quietly, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I notice how similar his words are to Thomas's earlier, and I suddenly pull both of them into a tight embrace.

"Thank you guys. You're the most amazing friends I've ever had."

"We'll always be here for you," Thomas says with a promising smile. "Don't ever doubt it."

"Hugs!" Chuck yells joyously, throwing his arms around the three of us. We all laugh-except for Alby, who stands by, rolling his eyes.

The Door creaks again, and I know it'll open any second.

We pull out of the hug, but I hang on to Tom and Minho. My heart is beating out of my chest.

"No matter what happens," Minho whispers, almost inaudibly.

I squeeze my eyes shut, breathing heavily.

_Please, please, please,_ I think.

Then the Door slowly starts to grind open.

**A/N:**

**Dun dun duuun! Cliffhangers are my specialty, aren't they? MUAHAHAHAHA!**


	24. Hope

Stone rubs against stone as the humongous Door opens, agonizingly slow. It takes all of my willpower not to rush into the Maze, shouting Newt's name as loud as my vocal chords will allow.

Then the Door stops abruptly, leaving the corridor invitingly open.

I stare the Maze, my eyes hungrily taking in every detail. I search every corner for his thin form, every shadow for a trace of his presence.

There's nothing.

I try to hide the painful sorrow that rips through my body.

_He doesn't have to be right here, _I tell myself. _He could still be wandering the Maze._

But I know, deep in my heart, that it can't be true. If Newt was alive, he would be right here waiting.

I take a careful step forward, onto the stone. My quiet footstep echoes off of the walls.

"Newt?" I whisper, fear coursing through my veins.

I listen for a response, even a shuffling of limbs that would tell me he's here. The Maze stays silent, as silent as I've ever heard it.

"Newt?" I call, this time a bit louder. Hope is evident in my tone, but it's fading with every passing second.

The Maze stays insultingly quiet. Thomas walks up next to me, each of his steps quiet and slow.

"Do you see him?" he whispers.

"No," I manage, too afraid to speak at full volume.

I feel Minho's presence behind me, hear his heavy breaths.

"Let's look around. He might be somewhere up there." He gestures down the corridor.

I nod, overwhelmed by too many feelings to speak again. We search the surrounding corridors, calling his name for hours. He's nowhere to be found.

Discouraged, we stand together, leaning on the wall.

"He's gone," Thomas croaks suddenly. "Searching is useless-he's not here."

"How can you say that?" I ask, my feelings a mix of disgust and surprise.

"Kelly, you know as well as I do that we would have found him by now if he was alive. Don't get me wrong, I hate it-I hate it as much as you could possibly imagine. But searching is a waste of time. I'm sorry, I'm leaving."

I hear Thomas turn around, giving up hope completely, and my heart sinks.

"I'm not abandoning Newt. I'll search for months if I have to," I protest. "Minho will help."

I wait for Minho's response, but he's quiet for a moment. Then he puts a tentative hand on my arm.

"Look, Kelly...I hate to say it, but Thomas is right. We can't keep hoping for something that's impossible. Newt...just _can't _be alive. I'm sorry."

My throat burns, and tears start to fall down my cheeks.

"I'm so, so sorry. I really am. But there's nothing we can do."

Minho trudges away, following Thomas. A newfound anger explodes inside of me.

"How can you guys just give up on him so easily? We don't know for sure that he's dead-he could be anywhere! Just have faith!" I cry loudly, turning to face them.

"Kelly, I'm just about out of faith. You don't know how much I'm trying to believe in him, that he's alive, but I've just been through too much. It's over and done," Minho says, pain evident in his tone. I can tell he's on the verge of tears.

"Thanks for keeping your promise. Thanks for being here for me, no matter what happens," I spit rudely, each one of my words as sharp as a dagger.

Then I turn back to the Maze and run off, hoping against hope that Newt's out there waiting for me.

**A/N:**

**Wow, I'm really dragging this out, huh? Sorry for all the suspense, it'll be better next chapter. Well, I mean, you'll **_**know **_**more next chapter, but that doesn't necessarily mean it will be better. It probably won't. It definitely won't. *evil cackle***


	25. In My Arms

"They were right-this is useless."

I hate myself for saying it. But I've been searching the Maze almost all day. I haven't even seen a trace of Newt-not the slightest clue as to where he is. I realized, a while ago, that he couldn't still be alive. Now I'm just searching for his body-as much as it hurts me-and making no progress at all.

I sigh, looking up at the orange sun. It should be somewhere around late afternoon, judging by the sun's position.

I internally make a decision, one I've been avoiding since I stepped foot in the Maze.

It's time to turn back.

Newt is dead.

I hang my head as I trudge back through familiar corridors, not even bothering to look anymore. Sadness overwhelms me, and all I can think about is how this is all my fault.

Newt went in the Maze for me. As much as he didn't want to, he did, for me. As much as the Maze terrified him, he followed me in. And he saved me instead of himself.

"Why, Newt? Why not yourself?"

A tear rolls down my cheek as my body fills with guilt.

Newt's death was my fault. I can't bear the thought of living, knowing that I did this to him.

A moan echoes through the Maze, interrupting my thoughts.

_That's just dandy. The Grievers can kill me now-maybe I'll get to see Newt when I'm dead._

I scoff. Like I deserve to ever lay eyes on Newt again-even in another life, he'll surely hate me for what I did. I never deserved to even know him in the first place.

Another groan sounds, louder this time, and I stop in my tracks.

That doesn't sound like a Griever.

_It sounds like Newt._

My heart fills with hope. I call his name, unbelievingly.

"Newt? Newt, is that you?"

I hear the faintest mumbling down a pathway to my left.

Without wasting a moment, I bolt down the corridor. My eyes search wildly, finally settling on a misshapen lump in the corner of the dead end. My heart feels like a bass drum, thumping loudly in my chest. I want to call his name, but I can't speak.

I finally reach the object, and my eyes confirm that it's Newt's rumpled form. I fall to my knees and cradle his head in my hands, looking into his soft brown eyes as I sob with relief. They're slightly glazed over, but after a moment, they focus on my face.

"Kelly," he says, almost inaudibly, the slightest bit of happiness showing in his eyes.

Forget friendship.

I lean forward, connecting his lips with mine and lacing my arms around his neck. He's surprised for a moment, but then he leans into the kiss, pulling me onto his lap and wrapping his long arms around my waist.

Nothing else matters in that one moment. It doesn't matter where we are, or who sees us, or how much he probably hates me right now. Just Newt and I, just us.

When I finally pull out of the kiss, Newt smiles faintly. I have tears running down my cheeks, and the most unreal sense of relief settles in my chest.

"You're alive!" I cry, hugging him and burying myself in the familiar folds of his clothes and his amazing scent.

I feel him tense up, wincing when I press my body to his.

I immediately pull away, worried.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Then I see it, and my heart stops. How could I have been so blind, so greedy, only concerned about myself?

His shirt is stained a mix of sickly brown and bright red. The blood covers almost every inch of the fabric, soaking him to the bone. I can see it in his face, his hollowed cheeks and pale skin.

He's losing so much blood, too much blood.

I quickly pull up his shirt, preparing myself for terrible wounds. But what I see is even worse than I could've ever imagined.

Griever stings are scattered over his chest, at least four or five blood-covered wounds. It looks like he's been this way for a while-sitting here, losing blood, waiting for the end to come.

Newt is dying in my arms.

**A/N:**

**I am a terrible person, I know. But at least I updated three times in one night, right? Nah, I'm still terrible.**


	26. Come With Me

I try to stay calm. As hard as it is, I promise myself that I won't panic-for Newt's sake.

"We have to get back to the Glade," I tell him quickly.

He shakes his head, and the pain in his eyes sends daggers through my heart. "I can't go. We'll never make it in time."

"No, we'll make it, we have to. We can do it."

He bites his lip. "Just leave me here, Kelly. Even if you do get me back, I'll never survive."

The last thing I want to do is put him through the pain of being dragged back to the Glade, but I know there's no other choice. I'm not leaving him here-I can't.

"Newt, I know this will be painful for you. But you'll die-for sure-if we stay here. Please come with me. You're the strongest person I know-you can make it."

I look into his eyes, and I see something terrible. I can tell he's lost the will to live.

I hesitate, not wanting to beg him. The only reason he would come at this point would be...for my sake.

I take a deep breath. "Newt, I know you must hate me right now. So if you come back with me, I'll never talk to you again. I'll never see you or even be in your presence if you don't want me to. But I couldn't ever live with the fact that I left you here to die. Just come back, and I'll leave you alone. I didn't give up on you-please, please don't give up on me."

He hesitates, gently stroking his knuckles on my cheek. "Never talk to me again?"

"Anything you want, Newt. I'll do it if you come with me."

"Why would I want you to ignore me? And how in the world could I hate you?" the faintest smile plays on his lips, but it looks out of place compared to his blood-drained face.

I smile genuinely, failing to hide my elation at the fact that he doesn't hate me.

I rub my thumb over the top of his hand. "Come on, let's get back there."

He sighs and holds out his arms. I stand, and then carefully pull him up. He winces as I gently help him into a standing position.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I know it hurts."

He manages a curt nod and throws his arm over my shoulder, letting his weight rest on me as he pants from the effort of standing. We stay still for a moment, but I know every second is precious. I press a comforting kiss to his temple.

"Ready to walk?" I ask softly.

"As ready as I'll ever be," he grimaces.

We take careful slow steps, and I support most of his weight. We move at a steady pace, as fast as I dare to go with Newt's injuries. There are terrifying moments when he blacks out from pain, collapsing in my arms but then regaining consciousness a few seconds later. I can only hope that he won't pass out permanently, but it could happen at any time.

"We're almost there. You can do this, Newt."

I encourage him every once in a while, but every time he simply nods, continuing to reluctantly trudge along.

We're almost back to the Glade when his legs give out suddenly, and panic flares in my heart.

"Come on, let's rest," I say, starting to pull him over to the wall.

"No," he strains to talk. "We won't make it if we rest."

"And you won't stand another second if we don't."

He presses his forehead against mine. "I promise you, I can keep going."

I can't say no to those pleading brown eyes. "Alright, but when we're back in the Glade, you'll be resting for a month."

He smiles through cracked lips. "As long as you're there with me."

We continue dragging through the Maze as evening settles in. My only focus is getting Newt out of that Door-into the Glade, into safety.

The end is in sight. Newt speeds up slightly, and I follow his lead, every step taking us closer to safety.

Then he gasps, and suddenly collapses into my arms.

"Newt?" I ask, my forehead beaded with sweat.

There's no response. His head lolls to the side lifelessly as his body shifts in my arms.

I resist the urge to scream for help as I drag him out of the Maze and into the Glade. No one's there awaiting my return, and I'm forced to pull Newt's body to the Homestead.

I can't take it anymore. I scream for help, for Thomas, for Minho, for Alby, Chuck, or Gally. Anyone who can hear me. I scream as loud as I possibly can, fearing that every second slims Newt's chances of survival.

I drop to my knees in front of the slipshod building, cradling Newt's body in my arms as I fall. I'm crying as I gaze at his beautiful features, wishing that his eyes were open and full of life. Wishing I could see those beautiful brown orbs that I'd grown to love so much.

"Kelly?" Thomas asks incredulously from behind me.

I hear him jog up next to me and drop to my height. I never take my eyes off of Newt.

"He needs help," I tell Thomas, trying not to full-out panic. "Get the Med-Jacks. _Now_."

Before Thomas even moves, more people gather around us. I hear frantic shouting in Gladers' voices that I don't recognize. I pull Newt tighter to my chest, suddenly afraid that they can't save him. That they'll just hurt him more, that I need to protect him.

Then Clint and Jeff are on either side of me, brandishing a misshapen stretcher and throwing commands at me left and right. I'm reluctant to let Newt go, but after a few moments people are tugging him out of my arms against my will.

_It's for his own good-they can save him_, I tell myself over and over.

Finally I give in and help them, adjusting Newt's limp body on the dirty cloth. Clint and Jeff lift the stretcher once Newt is secure, and then make a beeline for the Homestead.

"Take care of him!" I call out desperately as Clint disappears inside the building. "Keep him safe…."

And then Newt is gone, and his fate is in the hands of two boys I barely know...or trust.

**A/N**

**This one is longgg but I didn't edit it so pardon any mistakes. I'll go back and edit later, but I wanted to update tonight so here ya go!  
And OMG. I have almost 50 comments. I'm actually freaking out because PEOPLE LIKE MY STORY!1!1 Thank you guys soOoOo much! :***


	27. The Love of a Child

The hardest thing is just going back to work.

Alby expects me to head to the fields right after the wake-up, just like any other day. He told me to act like nothing even happened and focus on my duties.

"Order. Like Newt always said, right?" he snickered when I protested.

It made me sick to my stomach-and angrier than ever-to think that he used the word "said" instead of "says", like he was implying that Newt was already…gone.

Despite Alby's commands, I'm now sneaking up to the room in the Homestead where they're keeping Newt. Everyone told me not to go up there-apparently the last thing I ever want to witness is the Changing-but I ignore them. I want to see Newt, and therefore I _will_ see Newt.

I'm stubborn, what can I say?

I press my ear to the door of the room, listening through the wood. I don't hear voices after listening for a moment, so I quietly turn the knob and push the door open.

Newt is alone in the room. He's lying on a cot that's pushed up against the wall furthest away from me. His eyes are closed, and he looks peaceful and still, almost as if he's in a deep sleep.

I'm comforted for a moment-maybe the Changing isn't so bad. But as I walk over to the cot, another thought strikes, and fear hits me like a freight train.

What if Newt isn't just asleep?

I fumble to grab his arm, pressing my thumb to the inside of his wrist and focusing on finding a heartbeat.

I feel the quiet thrumming of a pulse through his skin, and I sigh with relief. I let go of his arm and walk over to the window, where a wooden chair sits next to an old rickety table. Then I pull the chair over to his bedside and sit, watching him intently.

His breathing is steady and calm, as if he's trying to keep it in perfect rhythm. It's the first time I've really gotten to take in every detail of Newt's face-his sharp jawline, his pink lips, his rosy cheeks and small ski-slope nose.

He's even more beautiful than I realized.

Thinking about Newt and seeing him in the calmest state he's been in since I first got to the Glade brings back a poem in my mind. The poem's words take more shape and become a lullaby, soft and beautiful like the blond boy in front of me.

With a voice almost at a whisper, I start to sing to him instinctively, reaching out to grab his hand.

_This love is simple_

_Perhaps I'm just wishful_

_It's just you and I_

_In this sweet lullaby_

_We can't stay silent_

_My heartbeat is violent_

_Perfect, not wild_

_It has me beguiled_

_Just like the love of a child_

The room fades into silence after my last note, but instead of being eerie, the quiet seems like a beautiful end for the piece. I smile at the memory of the song-my mother had sung it to Nico and I when we were younger, yet it seemed perfectly fitting for Newt and I now.

"Track-Hoes, _get to work_!" Alby's harsh voice can be heard even through the walls of the Homestead.

I sigh, knowing I have to leave, and kiss Newt's cheek before I stand.  
"Stay alive for me, okay?" I tell him, knowing he can't hear me.

I turn and start to walk out of the room when I hear the rustling of bedsheets. I stop and listen to Newt shifting on the bed, almost unbelieving that he could be waking up.

I turn around, hoping to see Newt lying there with lively, open eyes, but instead I see a much worse scene.

**A/N:**

**So I'm kinda making Alby the villain here, so he's gonna be all mean just because he doesn't like Kelly or Knewt (that's a good ship name!). Also, credit to whoever wrote that poem, because I couldn't find the author but i really liked it.**


	28. The Changing

Newt looks pained as he flops around restlessly, flipping over onto his side and then his back, as if he's having a nightmare. But then it intensifies, and Newt pushes against invisible restraints, clawing at the sheets and murmuring as he writhes madly.

"Newt? Calm down, it's okay!" I say, frantically trying to hold him down.

His murmurings intensify and become readable.

"No, no, get away from her!" He says at his natural volume.

His eyes are squeezed shut, and sweat beads on his forehead as my worry grows. I try to pin down his wrists, but his elbow slams into my jaw and I stumble backwards. It's then when I know I can't calm him down myself.

"Alby!" I yell, running down the stairs and cradling the bruise that's forming on my jawline. "Alby, Newt needs help!"

Alby leans through the Homestead's doorway, looking vaguely agitated.

He starts to speak with a grimace on his stony features. "Kelly, didn't I tell you to-"

"Alby!" I interrupt, fearing for what's happening to Newt while he's unattended. "Newt needs help!"

Alby focuses on my words, suddenly becoming serious.

"He's writhing around, and clawing at the sheets, and…."

Alby doesn't wait for me to finish my sentence. He pushes past me and rushes up the stairs into the room where Newt is. I follow close behind him, every one of Newt's pained grunt's sending a knife of sympathy through my heart.

Newt is yelling now, thrashing wildly like he's trying to murder the air. The scene in front of me is terrifying, and I bite my lip as Alby tackles Newt, pinning him roughly to the bed.

"Newt, calm down!" Alby screams into poor Newt's face, who's unable to control what's happening to his body.

I try to help, leaping on top of Newt's legs and steadying them while Alby holds down his upper body. After a few straining moments, Newt starts to calm down, relaxing and not struggling as much. Five minutes later, he's completely still and quiet, as if nothing had happened at all.

Alby and I slowly release our grip on the blond boy, and I cast a sideways glance at Alby.

"Does this happen _every time _someone goes through the Changing?"

Alby snickers. "I told you, you don't _ever_ want to see the Changing-it's your fault you didn't listen. That reminds me-isn't it time for you to _get back to work_?"

His tone gets harsher with the last few words, and I sigh.

"Fine. But I'll be back here after dinner."

I cast a final glance back at peaceful little Newt before I head out to the fields, which seem empty without him.

**A/N:**

**Sorry this is a short one, I'm really busy with school and stuff. But, I promise, after Newt wakes up (yes, he's gonna wake up stop worrying I would not kill off my babe XD) there will be plenty of cutesey fluff scenes! I have a little sticky note with all my planned fluff chapters on my desk, and I'll check them off one by one...so get ready!  
Also-I have like 60 comments and wow **_**11,000 views**_ **right now, and I just realized that, so omg guys thank you so much! I love you and fluff is your reward! Yay for you!**


	29. Happiest Girl in the World

"What happened to you?" Minho asks through a mouthful of pasta, eyeing the the purple mark on my jaw as I sit down across from him.

I sigh. "I got beaten up," I deadpan.

Minho's gaze hardens. "By who? I swear, I'll pound the shank-"

"Minho, I'm kidding," I laugh, half pleased that he's being protective. "Alby and I were trying to...um, hold Newt back, and he accidentally hit me."

Thomas looks confused. "So you got into a fight with...an _unconscious _person? And you _still_ lost?"

I smack the back of Tom's head lightly, and he laughs.

"You should get that checked out. It looks pretty bad," Minho says, taking a closer look at the wound.

"Minho, I'm fine. Seriously, it's just a bruise."

He and Thomas share a look, and I frown. "Ugh, why do you guys all think I'm so _weak_ just because I'm a girl?! I assure you, I could knock out half of these shanks. Don't make me show you."

"We all know you're tough, sweetheart," Minho says in a sappy voice.

I jerk my foot up quickly, nailing him in the leg.

"Ow!" he pouts. "What was that for?"

I smile smugly as Thomas scoots away from me, a comically fearful look on his face. "You're lucky I didn't aim higher."

"Yeah," Minho mutters, shoving another spoonful of food down his gullet.

I eye his food with a grimace. "That looks disgusting."

The pasta has a mystery meat in it along with some sort of yellow cream sauce, making it look very unappealing.

"It isn't half bad," Thomas shrugs, twirling some on his fork. "Try it."

"I'll pass, thank you very much," I say, pulling my bowl of vegetarian chili closer to me protectively.

Suddenly, the door slams open violently. Chuck is there, and he scans the room. His eyes settle on mine, and when he sees me, he gestures to me frantically.

"Kelly!" he calls, and I get up, slightly worried.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I run over. "Did something happen to Newt?"

Chuck nods, but he looks relieved. "He's awake!"

My heart runs a marathon in my chest, and I grab Chuck's shoulders. "Where is he?"

"He's still in the room where he was earlier."

I push past him, probably a little too roughly, and into the Homestead's sleeping area. I take the stairs from there, each step making my heart rate rise. When I'm finally in front of his door, I don't hesitate, pushing it open with force.

"Newt!" I say as soon as it's open, praying he's really there.

And my prayers come true. Newt sits on his cot, a smug smile plastered to his face. His smile is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

"You're awake!"

He holds out his arms, and I run over to him, gratefully accepting the hug. I bury my face in his chest, and I feel it rise and fall, making me the happiest girl in the world.

Newt is alive and safe-finally.

"Well you seem happy," Newt comments, and I can tell he's grinning.

I look up at him, unable to stop smiling. "Of course I'm happy! You're okay!"

He twirls a piece of my hair with his long fingers. "I guess I feel pretty good, too, now that you're here."

I keep my arms around his neck and lay my head on his shoulder just as Alby walks in.

"Well, look who's awake."

I glance at Alby and see he's giving me a displeased look.

"And look who found him first."

"Slim it, Alby," Newt says, looking vaguely ticked off that the Glade leader decided to show up.

I sit up next to Newt on the cot, still hanging on to the blond's hand. I notice tension between the him and Alby as I look back and forth between the two boys. They're glaring at each other, as if they're silently arguing with their eyes.

"What's going on here?" I ask quietly, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Nothing," Alby spits immediately. "Absolutely nothing. And you guys better be working in those fields in five minutes or I'll banish the both of you."

Alby whirls around and exits the room, slamming the door harshly. Newt and I sit there in stunned silence for a moment.

"Well, obviously _something _is going on," I say, turning toward the second-in-command.

Newt bites his lip. "You heard Alby. It's nothing."

I raise an eyebrow and give him a knowing glance.

Newt sighs, giving in. "Alright."

**A/N:**

***Gasps* what do you think it is? What is going on between Newt and Alby? WILL WE EVER KNOW?! Well, I know, but you don't :) Anyway, Newt is awake, you can breathe easy!**

**Thanks for all the favorites/follows/comments/etc. I love you all :***

**I'll probably update tomorrow, because it's Super Bowl Sunday, and I'll be eating food and writing while adults watch football! Yay!**


	30. Loves, Not Loved

I look at Newt expectantly, rubbing my thumb over the top of his hand. He takes a deep breath, and then starts to speak.

"Alby and I..we've always had some memories of what happened before the Glade. It was always little snippets of the past that were too bloody small or jumbled up to understand. But then, after I got stung and went through the Changing, I remembered more. A lot more."

Newt pauses, and I bite my lip, wondering what he's going to say.

"You see, I've been awake for a while now."

My face falls. He's been awake, and he didn't tell me?

"Alby was in this room when I woke up. The first thing I did was tell him everything I remembered from the Changing."

He looks up at me to see my reaction, and I try to wipe the hurt off my face. Now isn't the time to be jealous of Alby.

"When we were in WICKED, there were months that we waited before we were sent up into the Maze. Now, you and I were friends before we came to the Glade. Friends, but nothing else. On the other hand, you and Alby…."

My eyes widen, but Newt just shakes his head sadly.

"Well, Alby loved you. And you...didn't really love him back. He did a lot for you, and you appreciated it, but over and over you told him you didn't feel that way."

I'm staring at Newt, my mouth hanging open with shock. _Alby loved me?_

"Then Alby's feelings grew hostile. He was mad that you didn't love him, so he did something terrible."

I frown, and Newt squeezes my hand as he continues to talk.

"You weren't even going to be sent up in the Maze, Kelly. There was another girl, Teresa, she should be here, not you. But Alby told them...Alby forced WICKED to put you in here, too."

I'm in shock. "Alby...how could he…?"

"I don't know how he could ever send someone up into this buggin' hellhole. I don't know why he would do it to anyone, _especially_ to the girl he loves."

"Loved," I substitute.

Newt shakes his head. "Don't you see it?"

I look up at him, furrowing my eyebrows. "See what?"

"Alby still loves you."

**A/N:**

**Okay, I know. This is short. But I had to end it there because *gasps* ALBY STILL LOVES KELLY?! WHAT!? Some of you smart people guessed it :) Anyway, I might update again, only because this is a short one. I LOVE YOU, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!**


	31. What Does It Mean?

It takes all my willpower not to scream "What?!". I just sit there in shock, and Newt looks at the ground.

"How...how could..._Alby_, of all people? I can't believe I didn't realize it," I mutter.

"I had my suspicions, but I knew he loved you when I was telling him my visions earlier. His face said it all. And afterwards, he looked guilty and said he really regrets sending you here. I guess...he's just not good at expressing his feelings. Like me."

I smile, but the usual kindness behind it is missing. "I don't get it. If Alby...loved me, why would he send me here?"

"To be with you? Because he was mad at you for not loving him back? I don't know, but now it makes sense that he hates us being together."

My mind races, and I squeeze his hand nervously. "Then...does that mean I have to be with him? That I can't be with you?"

Newt frowns and scoots closer to me, letting me lay my head on his shoulder. "I hope not. But he's the Glade leader, he makes the decisions."

"Well...what should I do? I mean...I don't love him. It's not that he's a _bad_ guy, he just isn't right for me," I say, feeling sort of guilty.

"You shouldn't have to love him. Just wait it out, and maybe his feelings will go away."

I know he's lying, but I decide not to dig deeper. I had too much on my mind already.

Out of the blue, Newt sits up, a troubled expression on his face.

"Kelly, I have to talk to you about something."

"What? Is everything alright?" I ask, worried.

He hesitates before speaking again. "We kissed in the Maze."

I straighten, surprised. "Yes, we did. More than once."

A faint smirk crosses his face. "It was on Friendship Day, too."

I smile at him, but there's still an awkwardness in the room. The air feels thick and almost tense, as if it's waiting for something to happen.

"What does it mean?" Newt asks.

I furrow my eyebrows.

"Us kissing," he clarifies. "_This_."

He gestures to my head on his shoulder, and I suddenly blush, pulling away from him. "I don't know. What do you want it to mean?"

Then his smirk is back, and he's smiling when he replies, "What I want it to mean is surely different than what you want it to mean."

"How so?"

"Well, if I had my way…," his voice softens, and he becomes more shy. "This would have happened a long time ago."

I feel heat creeping on to my cheeks again, and when I look up at Newt, a look of hard concentration is plastered to his face.  
"So what does it mean?" he repeats.

I shrug.

Are we ready for a relationship? We haven't even made it through a whole day of friendship.

"When you kissed me...was it just on an impulse, because you missed me? Or did the kisses really mean something?"

"Well...I guess they were kind of impulsive. I mean, I was just so relieved to see you…"

His face falls, but then he covers up his disappointment.

"But afterwards," I continue. "I realized I felt something during the kiss. Like...I couldn't resist you. I thought, 'Forget friendship' and kissed you, and it felt good. So...yes, they did mean something."

He smiles slightly. "Then what's your decision? Do you still want to be friends, or…"

I bite my lip. I think of what I said before, what a good, strong relationship needs.

I trust Newt more than anyone else in the Glade.

I'm the happiest with him, too.

I can easily call him my best friend, along with Tom and Minho.

We didn't really have much time, or lots of memories, but when I think about it, every time I see him walking towards me, or hear him talk, or see one of his crazy facial expressions, it makes me happy. Memories like that are the best memories, and every second I'm with him, more are created.

Our relationship may have had some rough times, but the future looks bright.

I lean forward to kiss Newt, hoping I made the right decision.

**A/N:**

**BABES! I'm so sorry :( I haven't updated in forever, and this chapter's kinda short. BUUUT there's a surprise in store for you….a LONG Newt one shot! It's from your POV, and it's about you as a WICKED employee watching the THING on page 250 (yes, TDC spoilers) on the like security cameras and you try to save him and it's happy and yay I'll be posting it in a day or two! It's called The Blond Boy, keep an eye out for it. Maybe leave some good reviews? :)**

**Anyway, once I finish that I'll get back to Train and only work on that. I have the whole story planned out my lovelies.**

**Thanks for waiting so patiently :* ILY ALL!**


	32. Later

"I was hoping you'd do that."

Newt kisses me back, and I grin into the kiss, relieved. He pulls me closer to him, almost onto his lap, and I hug him tightly.

"Finally," he mumbles into my hair, and I laugh.

He kisses me again, and I feel like we could stay that way forever.

"Guys…?"  
I almost fall off of the bed when someone speaks from behind us. Newt looks past me, eyes wide, to see Chuck covering Nico's eyes. They both have disgusted, shocked expressions on their faces.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry," I stammer, quickly pulling myself off of Newt.

"Okay, that was _gross_!" Nico shrieks, ducking under Chuck's arm and running out of the room.

I share a look with Newt, who's trying not to laugh. "Chuck, can you...give us a minute?" he asks.

Chuck looks from my face to Newt's. "Alby wants you guys in the fields. He wanted me to make sure you two weren't…doing anything. I wonder if he would consider this-"

"Chuck, please don't tell him!" I plead, afraid of Alby's possible reaction if he found out.

Chuck sighs. "I won't. But next time, _lock the door_."

I laugh, getting up and giving Chuck a hug. "Thanks Chuck. I'm sorry you had to see that."

Newt snorts, and I give him a warning look.

"You should be sorry," Chuck says, but he's grinning.

Chuck gives us a long look before walking out, chuckling to himself. Newt lets out an audible sigh of relief.

"We need to be more careful," I decide, taking Newt's hand and pulling him up from the bed.

"Yeah. I guess we should keep..._this_ a secret."

"I wish we didn't have to, but you're right."

"Aw, I can't even tell Tommy? Or Minho?"

I hesitate, and he takes the opportunity to give me sad puppy dog eyes. I sigh, looking away, and he grins, knowing he's won the battle. "Alright. But _only_ Tom and Minho."

"Yay!"

He hugs me, and my heart soars, knowing that it's going to be like this all the time.

"Now we should get going," I say pointedly.

He kisses me one more time, and I pull away regretfully. "_Later_."

"Sorry," he chuckles, "I've been waiting to do that since the day you came up in the Box."

"Creep," I say, but I'm smiling.

We walk downstairs, hand in hand, only letting go right before we get outside.

"Now remember," I remind him, "none of that just happened. We're just _friends_."

"Fine," he pouts.

We work in the fields for a couple of hours, trying to keep out of Alby's line of sight. Newt manages to sneak in a few kisses, but I know we need to be more careful. If Alby finds out about this….

I shudder. Alby _cannot _find out about this.

"What are you thinking about?" Newt asks, studying me, and I realize I was just staring off into space. "Let me guess: it was me."

I roll my eyes. "I swear, if you're gonna be all self-centered now that-"

He cuts me off with a kiss, and I pull away, but I'm smiling. It's hard to be annoyed with someone-especially Newt-when they're being really cute.

"Yes, I was thinking about you. I was also thinking about what eternal punishment we would get if Alby saw us together."

He frowns, reluctantly unwrapping his arms from around my waist, and I peck him on the nose.  
"Like I said, _later_."

Newt grins at me. "I'm looking forward to it."

He winks at me before walking off to another patch of plants, and I can't help but smile.

**A/N:**

**Hey Train Riders! (okay, that's officially what I'm calling my readers now :D) I'm sooorrrryyyyyyyy I took so long to update, I have school and writers block and I FINISHED THE BLOND BOY! YAY! So go read it :) if you do, you get a virtual cookie! **

**I was listening to "Fantasies Come True" from the Avenue Q soundtrack when I wrote this and I was like aww, Kelly and Newt's fantasies are coming true! Okay, that was really cheesy, but so is this chapter :3**

**Anyway, I'll try to update more regularly now, but I can't promise anything :( This is pretty much the only thing I'm working on, but I'm considering a SYOC fic, so keep an eye out for it! 0.o**

**Because I took forever to update and probably won't be much better in the future, here's a sneak peek into the future of this fanfic (basically random bullet points from my sticky note): Stars in the woods, snOW DAY, bad dream, and *gasp* a secret scene with "There's a Fine, Fine Line" (also from Avenue Q, don't judge me, I like broaDWAY), so go listen to that if you want to guess what that will be about. HINT: It's depressing.**

**So, I should probably go before this note is longer than the actual chapter. (This is what happens when I don't want to do my homework.)**

**Also, virtual cookies to anyone who actually read my long and pretty much useless procrastination ranting!**

**BYE TRAIN RIDERS! :***


	33. Forbidden

"Is it later yet?" Newt whines.

I laugh as he slides next to me on the bench, slipping an arm around my waist. I'm sitting on the bench just inside the Deadheads, munching on a sandwich while reading a book in the setting sun's light.

Newt presses kisses to my cheek, and I groan. "Newt, I'm trying to read."

"I know," he smirks, continuing to kiss me.

"You're being distracting."

"I know."

I eventually give up, dropping the book and turning to face Newt. He grins, victorious, and presses his lips to mine. Fireworks explode in my stomach, and I pull him closer. I'm still slightly in shock over the fact that I'm actually kissing Newt, and it's...well, amazing.

"I could get used to this," he smiles, pulling away to catch his breath.

"Me too," I reply, cuddling into his soft shirt.

He wraps his arms around me protectively and I close my eyes, feeling like I'm floating.

"I KNEW IT!"

I sit straight up at the unexpected sound of Thomas's voice.

"I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, _I KNEW IT_!" Thomas dances around us, bragging loudly.

"Quiet!" I hiss, looking around frantically for someone who might happen to be standing by.

"Oh my God, I can't believe it! You guys were kissing, and cuddling, and-"

"Tommy!" Newt warns, eyes wide.

Thomas squeals, continuing to dance around the bench, making me groan and hide my face in Newt's chest.

"Aw, look at you two! You're so _cute_!"

I pull away, glaring at Thomas. "Thomas, I swear, if you don't _shut up_-"

"Okay, okay. I'm just _excited_!"

"We can see that," Newt deadpans.

"I have to tell Minho!" Thomas cries, ignoring Newt's comment.

"Oh, I heard it _all_."

Minho emerges from behind a tree and I curse quietly.

"MINHO!" Thomas yells ecstatically. "Did you see when they-"

"I saw _every last bit of it_."

Newt groans, and I wish the ground would swallow me. Thomas and Minho continue to recite, in perfect detail, every interaction that Newt and I had.

"Do you think they would notice if we ran away?" Newt whispers in my ear, and I smirk.

"Of course. They'll be watching our every move now."

"Oh well. We were going to tell them eventually."

"But now they have the satisfaction of knowing they found out themselves."

"What are you _lovebirds _whispering about?" Minho coos.

"Nothing," I grumble. "Nothing at all."  
Thomas and Minho giggle like little kids, and Newt stands up, eyeing them.

"Look, you two have to _promise_ not to tell anybody. If Alby finds out about this…."

"We know, we know. It's a _secret_," Thomas says teasingly.

"I'm serious. If anyone finds out, I will personally come to you two and beat you to the ground."

Minho backs away with his hands raised in surrender. "We swear not to tell anyone. Right, Thomas?"

"Yeah," Thomas agrees, actually looking serious.

"Good," I exhale, hoping I can trust the Runners.

"You know, you two should be more careful if you want to keep this a secret," Minho says pointedly.

"We will," I say, giving Newt a glance.

Newt nods, looking bummed. I stand up next to him, slipping my hand in his.

"Hey, we just have to be careful, okay? It doesn't mean I can't do this."

I lean up and kiss him softly, and I feel him smile against my lips. Thomas and Minho simultaneously "aww" next to us.

"It's like a forbidden love," Minho weeps comically, and I smack his arm lightly.

"It's not _forbidden_."

Newt coughs.

"Okay, maybe it's _kind of _forbidden. But it's not that bad."

Thomas snickers quietly, and I groan, turning away from them. "I hate you guys."

"You know you love us," Thomas grins as they all follow me out of the forest.

"_Especially Newt_."

I roll my eyes at Minho's comment, but hey, I'm not denying anything.

**A/N:**

**SURPRISE UPDATE!**

**Only because I love you guys...and because I'm putting off doing my homework. So you got lucky.**

**I'm sure you don't want a long note like last time so I'll keep it short and sweet.**

**ILY TRAIN RIDERS! :***


	34. Strawberries

Newt, Thomas, Minho and I trek back towards the Homestead, our path illuminated only by distant torches and moonlight now that night has fallen. Minho and Thomas chatter loudly, but Newt is oddly quiet as he walks next to me.

"Something wrong?" I ask him.

His eyes, which were previously staring off into the distance, focus on my face.

"I-yeah, um, can I ask you something?" he mutters shyly.

I smile comfortingly and take his hand. "Of course."

He doesn't reply for a moment, looking down. His flushed cheeks make me laugh quietly.

"I, um, remember the day before...I got stuck in the Maze? Friendship Day?"

"How could I forget?" I ask softly, trying to keep memories from flooding back.

"Well...there was something I wanted to show you that day. I kept getting interrupted, but that's why I planned the picnic-so I could show you."

"Oh yeah, we never got to have the picnic…," I realize, trailing off.

Newt nods, looking a little upset, and I get an idea.

"Do you want to have it now?"

He looks taken aback. "Now? Right now?"

I shrug. "Sure, why not. I think it's 'later' enough, don't you?"

His eyes light up. "Let me get the candles."

Newt kisses my cheek before jogging off with a little spring in his step.

"Oooh, a candlelit picnic?" Minho croons from behind me once Newt is out of earshot. "Can I come?"

I roll my eyes. "No, but you can both help me steal the stuff to make chocolate covered strawberries."

Minho squeals, and Thomas asks excitedly, "Can we eat some?"

I purse my lips. "Alright. But only a few."

The boys cheer as we sneak towards Frypan's kitchen, hoping to snatch the food without him noticing. I push open the door, luckily finding the lights off and the kitchen looking empty. I tiptoe in, turning on a small lamp that gives me just enough light to see the shelves.

"You guys look for the strawberries," I whisper to Thomas and Minho.

"Aye aye, captain!" Thomas whispers sharply, saluting.

"We're on it!" Minho assures, attempting to do a stealthy forward roll but ending up crashing clumsily into a pile of cans and making a huge racket.

I groan, burying my face in my hands. "Why did I even bring you two?" I mutter to myself.

The boys hustle off to look for the strawberries while I search the numerous shelves for chocolate, to no avail.

"What are you doing in my kitchen?"

I curse under my breath and turn to find an unhappy-looking Frypan with his hands on his hips. His eyes soften a bit, though, when he realizes it's me.

"I-uh, I was looking for…"

Frypan raises an eyebrow, but he looks more amused than angry.

"What were you trying to find? I'll help you out, I'm the only one who knows where anything is around here."

I exhale, relieved. "Chocolate and strawberries. I sent Minho and Tom to find the strawberries, but...I wouldn't really trust them."

Frypan snorts. "You stay here. I'll go stop them before they destroy something else."

The cook walks off to find Thomas and Minho, and I wait patiently, twiddling my thumbs. Once I spy the chocolate on the topmost shelf-way out of my reach-I start to hum quietly, wondering what Newt has in store. I can't deny the fact that I'm extremely excited.

"We found the strawberries!" Minho announces, walking in with a container full of the bright red fruit.

"Mhm," Thomas says in agreement, strawberry juice dripping down his chin.

"Good," I say. "Now we need chocolate, and a bowl to heat it up in."

"Bowl," Frypan says, picking up a bowl and spinning it on the tips of his fingers. "Check."

"I see the chocolate, but it's too high up for me to reach," I admit quietly, and Minho laughs, grabbing it with a quick sweep of his arm and dropping it in the bowl.

"Okay, now we have everything! Time to eat!" Thomas exclaims, eyeing the food hungrily.

"Not yet," I protest, holding it just out of his reach. "And you only get a _few_."

"Fine," he pouts. "You and Newt can have your little romantic picnic _all alone_."

"That would be preferable," I mutter, before realizing that Frypan's in the room.

"What?" he asks, eyebrows raised. "Romantic?"

Minho chuckles, slapping Thomas on the arm. "He was just kidding. Right, Thomas?"

"Uh, yeah, right!" Thomas pulls a fake smile.

Frypan looks back and forth from Thomas to Minho before nodding, suspicion clear on his features.

"Would you mind heating this up, Fry?" I ask, glaring sharply at Thomas, who's red-faced.

"Sure," Frypan says, taking the chocolate over to the stove.

"Smooth, Thomas," Minho mutters.

"Sorry!" Thomas apologizes, looking sincere, and I sigh.

Our secret is going to get out sooner or later, and there's nothing I can do about it.

****A/N:****

****Ayeeeeee Train Riders!****

****So, since you suffered through all of those traumatizing chapters, you get a few cute fluffy ones :3 but then we're back to the usual heartbreak.****

****Of course, it wouldn't be a fanfiction without heartbreak.****

****I added in this picnic at the last minute, so if the plot's a little rough then oh well ¯\\(°_o)/¯ ****

****Heh I like that shrug face thing ^****

****Anywaaaay our school play is finally here, so for the next few days I'll be performing instead of writing :( sorry guys, theater is like my second life.****

****ILY ALL! I'll update ASAP, I know you guys love fluff.****

****KEWT FOR LIFEEEEEEEEEEEE!****


	35. Moments in the Woods

"_Oh my God_, he left you a path made of flower petals!" Thomas shrieks excitedly.

"Yeah," I say nonchalantly, trying to blow it off, but my flushed cheeks say otherwise.

"Aww, that is _so cute_!" Minho squeals.

"Guys, you can leave her alone now," Frypan comes to my rescue, pulling Thomas and Minho backwards by their shoulders.

"But we want to stay with you!" Thomas pouts.

I roll my eyes. "_No_. I told you, this is a _private _picnic."

"You know what, let's just let them have their alone time. We need to study the maps anyway-follow up on that trend we found earlier," Minho reasons.

Thomas catches Minho's eye, and I see a quick wink passed between them.  
"You're right, we should," Thomas says a little too quickly.

They jog off towards the Map Room, whispering as they do so. I roll my eyes.

"I wonder what they're planning," Frypan speaks my thoughts.

"I better get going-I want to have at least some time alone."

Frypan grins, passing me the small basket with his signature margherita pizza, chocolate covered strawberries, and drinks inside. "Have fun."

I smile and start to walk off, but the cook's hand on my shoulder stops me.

"Your secret is safe with me," he says with a wink.

My mouth drops open, but Frypan simply turns and walks back into the kitchen.

_Keeping this secret is going to be a lot harder than I thought_.

I try to push the thoughts to the back of my head, trying to focus on one thing-Newt. I follow the trail of soft white petals, smiling at his adorable gesture. The trail leads into the darkness-shrouded Deadheads, and the long, fingerlike shadows of tree branches cause fear to creep in slowly. My heart beats faster when a Griever scream echoes through the forest. I try to focus on following the petals, but I'm afraid I'm just getting lost.

Then I see tiny dots of flame ahead, and my fear melts.

Newt has found an amazing clearing in the woods. A small stream flows lazily into a lily pad-dotted pond. A tall, strong-looking tree stands in the middle of the clearing, its long branches swaying quietly in the wind. A wooden swing, tied up sturdily with rope, hangs from the lowest bough.

The clearing would be gorgeous enough, but Newt made it absolutely breathtaking.

Small white candles dot the surrounding areas, resting on strong branches, stumps, or the ground. Newt laid out a picnic blanket underneath the tall tree, and two larger candles sit on top of it.

The candles make the clearing glow with an almost angelic light, and Newt's smiling face brightens up the place significantly as well.

"Newt…" I whisper, almost in a trance. "It's...beautiful."

Newt grins, walking over to kiss my cheek. "Almost as beautiful as you."

I can almost feel my heart melting as he takes my hand and gently leads me over to our picnic under the tree. He sits down, and I sit right next to him, even though there's more than enough space on the blanket.

"Just wait," he says excitedly. "You haven't even seen the best part yet."

"How could anything be better than this?" I ask, wrapping an arm around his waist.

He smiles, absentmindedly playing with a piece of my hair. "You'll love it."

After a few moments of just enjoying each others' presence, Newt reaches for the picnic basket, peering inside.

"Pizza!" he exclaims happily.

I smile at his childlike attitude. "And chocolate covered strawberries."

Newt's mouth drops open. "I love you so much."

I peck his nose, laughing. "Love you too."

Newt wastes no time, taking out the still-warm pizza and handing me a piece.

"For you, my lady," he bows his head.

I grin and ruffle his messy hair. "Why thank you, kind sir."

Newt laughs, and my heart runs a relay race. Staring at him, I realize once again that he's perfect.

"What?" he says, raising an eyebrow when he sees my eyes on him.

"You're perfect," I say seriously, and his cheeks go red, but he's smiling.

"So are you," he promises before kissing me.

We eat, making jokes and laughing constantly. The pizza is delicious, as usual, but I think being in the clearing with Newt makes everything more amazing. When we're almost finished, Newt picks up the bowl that once housed the strawberries.

"Do you want the last strawberry?" Newt asks, eyeing the lone fruit.

"Hmm…," I hesitate.

"Come on. This might very well be the best strawberry in the whole world, you wouldn't know because you're not gonna eat it."

I laugh. "Fine, then."

Newt pops it into my mouth, and I nod. "You were right."

Newt reclines backwards, leaning on the tree's thick trunk. I curl up next to him, and he laces his fingers through mine.

I can't help but notice him gazing at me, and I turn to look at him, a smile tugging at my lips.

"What are you staring at?" I ask.

He keeps his eyes locked on mine. "The most amazing person in the world."

I squeeze his hand, taking in his beautiful features as my heart soars. "That's odd, because I don't think anyone could be more amazing than the guy I'm staring at right now."

"You're wrong," he smirks, leaning in to kiss my lips.

The kiss is soft, and it only lasts a few seconds, but it lingers on my lips for seemingly forever. He never lets go of my hand as we sit in silence, thinking.

"Our relationship got really shucked up, didn't it?" he muses after a while.

"We'll get through it. One day, we'll be happy together, without a care in the world. We'll get out of here and get to live a normal life. We'll be safe."

Newt looks distant, imagining the picture I paint with my words.

"One day," I repeat quietly.

He lets go of my hand for a moment, only to wrap an arm around my shoulder and pull me closer to him. I sigh contentedly, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Maybe that day will come soon," he says quietly.

"Hey, don't jinx it!" I say, laughing.

I feel him smile into my hair, and I snuggle into the folds of his clothing.

A crazy feeling comes over me-one that can only be described as love. And right now, in this small moment with his arms around me, I feel like anything is possible. Like I came into the Glade for a reason, and this is it. Our relationship may have been anything but smooth sailing, but there isn't any place I'd rather be than here in his arms.

So I hope that day does come soon.

**A/N:**

**LONG CHAPTER! **

**You're welcome XD Okay, now it's time for a long A/N!**

**That was so cheesy and I'm bad at fluff but it was fun to write! DID ANYONE CATCH MY HSM3 REFERENCES?! Margherita pizza and chocolate covered strawberries and the conversation and ASDFGHJKL;**

**Also the chapter name is an Into the Woods referenceee ;)**

**You have no idea how much I wanted to use the verb "fangirls" for Thomas and Minho at the beginning. I'll probably end up doing it at some point anyway!**

**That reminds me, I was thinking of doing a little Thominho later on-tell me what you guys think in a review, because I'm still not sure about adding another relationship.**

**And for anyone who doesn't know, SYOC is Submit Your Own Character, where you make up OC's (original characters, like Kelly!) and send them to the author and they pick ones they want to use. I still don't know if I'm going to do one…basically I'm just unsure about everything XD**

**So, a funny thing happened yesterday: three guys told me they liked me.**

_**Three.**_

**WHAT IS GOING ON I READ ABOUT THIS STUFF IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY **_**HAPPEN!**_

**I have no idea what I'm going to do...whatever XD If anyone's good with this kind of stuff, I NEED ADVICEE! **

**21,709** **views and 99 reviews party! WOOT WOOT!**

**Anyway, I need your opinions. I want Kewt to have a song (aww) but I don't know what I want it to be. I have a few in mind, and I might just use the one she sang to him after he was stung (**_**This love is simple, Perhaps I'm just wishful). **_**If you guys have any that you want to recommend, leave a review!**

**Thanks guys! ILYYYY!**


	36. Schadenfreude

"SURPRISE!"

I scream as freezing cold water suddenly splashes over my body from above. Gasping for air, I turn to see Newt, who has met the same fate.

"What the-" he starts.

"Thomas and Minho!" I realize, looking up to see the boys giggling above us in the tree with two empty buckets.

"And Nico!" a small voice yells, and Nico's head peeks out from behind a branch.

"You got him on it too?!" I cry, and the three guys laugh.

"He's great! He came up with the whole thing!" Thomas brags, ruffling Nico's hair.

"Tommy!" Newt groans, shaking the water out of his hair.

"Get down here right now!" I demand sternly. "All of you!"

"No way!" Minho protests.

"You're going to hurt us!"

I roll my eyes, but a plan is slowly forming in my head. "I'm not going to _hurt_ you. Never harm another Glader, right?"

Thomas and Minho share a suspicious look, while Nico just looks confused.

"Do you guys want some pizza? We still have some leftover if it isn't _soaking_ _wet_."

"Hold on a second," Tom mutters. "You're just going to _forgive_ us for dumping water on your heads?"

I shrug, trying to make it look genuine. "I knew something was up. It's just kind of _expected_ from you two."  
They look at each other for a moment, shrug, and start climbing back down the tree trunk, helping Nico down with them. Newt shoots me a glance, and I wink at him. He grins.

Once Minho is on the ground, he starts to talk. "Alright, where's the-"

I quickly shove him towards the murky pond water. He stumbles, trips over his own feet, and tumbles into the water. Thomas's mouth drops open, but before he can realize what happened, I've pushed him into the pond as well.

"You better run," I tell Nico, and the small boy dashes off without a word.

"Nice!" Newt grins, giving me a high five as the older boys sputter and gasp.

"At least our water was _clean_!" Minho whines, pulling a slimy green plant out of his previously-perfect hair and holding it up with disgust.

Newt and I laugh as Thomas grimaces. "That's what you get!" I chirp.

"Now get out, leave us alone!" Newt groans.

Thomas and Minho reluctantly climb out of the pond, dripping with gunk and cursing under their breaths. They eventually decide to leave us alone, thankfully, but not before stealing the rest of the pizza. Nico chatters with the dripping wet boys as they all drag on back to the Homestead.

"I knew something like that would happen," Newt mutters, shaking his head as the guys' footsteps fade into silence.

"I got 'em good, though," I laugh, taking Newt's hand.

"Did you see Thomas's face? It was hilarious!"

"And the way Minho looked after his hair got messed up-priceless!"

"This is exactly what schadenfreude feels like."

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Schadenfreude-happiness at the misfortune of others," Newt explains.

"Where did that evil word come from?" I ask, sticking out my tongue.

He shrugs. "I don't know. I guess our vocabulary stuck when they wiped out our memories."

"You must have been an English professor or something."

Newt chuckles, squeezing my hand as he starts to slowly walk the circumference of the clearing. I follow him, scanning my surroundings and again taking in the clearing's unimaginable beauty.

Then I see the swing, and I gasp. "The swing! I totally forgot!"

I run over to it, and Newt follows behind me, smiling. "Get on, I'll push you."

I quickly climb onto the small wooden board, which creaks but feels sturdy enough. I feel Newt's hands gently press into my back from behind, and the swing starts to move. He pushes me slowly, and it's beautifully peaceful, like the clearing. I feel like I'm flying.

After a while, I hear a quiet noise from behind me. Newt seems to be speaking quietly under his breath.

"Newt?" I ask.

He snaps back into reality. "Oh, it's-nothing."

"Were you singing?" I ask, a genuine smile pulling at my lips.

"Yeah," he admits quietly, and I imagine he's blushing.

I hop off of the swing, landing not-so-gracefully and turning to face Newt. He looks down, embarrassed.

"Can you sing it for me?" I ask quietly.

He blushes even more. "I'm not good."

"I'm sure you are," I assure him, walking over and taking both of his hands in mine.

He looks into my pleading eyes and sighs, giving in. "Alright. But first, come over here. I have to show you the best part of this picnic."

**A/N:**

**YAY FOR SONGS NEXT CHAPTERRRRRRRRRRRR...WHICH I'M POSTING RIGHT AFTER THIS ONEEEEE!**

**Double update, yaaaaaaasss! And they're both super fluffyyyyyyyyyy!**

**Okay all of the important A/N is on the next chapter, so be prepared! It's a long one!**


	37. All of Me

Newt leads my by my hand to the edge of the clearing.

"Close your eyes," he commands. "I want it to be a surprise."

I follow his instructions, shutting out my vision. I feel Newt's arm around me, guiding me forward, and we walk a small distance before stopping.

"Okay," I hear him say. "You can open your eyes now."

I open my eyes and gasp. Towering in front of me is a tall, sturdy-looking rock structure, reaching an altitude higher than the surrounding trees.

"Whoa," I breathe, its sheer hugeness baffling me.

"Ready to go up?" he asks with a grin.

"We can go on top!?" I'm unable to keep the excitement out of my voice.

"Yep. Ladies first," he grins and gestures to the side of the structure, which is composed of multiple ledges and looks relatively easy to climb.

I place one foot on the lowest ledge and use my arms to hoist myself up to the next level with Newt following close behind. Minutes later, we lay side by side on the flat top of the rock, which is surprisingly comfortable.

"This is amazing," I tell him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Yeah. I found it a year or so ago, and you're the only other person I brought up here."

"I'm honored." I kiss his cheek.

"You know, the main reason I took you up here is so we can see the stars," he admits, tilting my chin up with his free hand.

My eyes focus on the sky, and I gasp. The Creators must have decided to be extra nice tonight, because the sky is covered in gorgeous twinkling stars and constellations. It's so beautiful, I'm speechless.

"They remind me of you," he says almost inaudibly. "Mostly your eyes."

I look up at him, smiling uncontrollably.

"They're still not as beautiful as you, though," Newt whispers, and I lean upwards to plant a long kiss on his lips.

When we finally pull apart, we share the same lovestruck smile. It almost feels unreal.

"Do you want me to sing?" he asks quietly, still sounding a little embarrassed.

"I'd love it," I reply, and he takes a deep breath.

He starts off quietly, staring at the stars as he sings a slow, beautiful tune.

_What would I do without your smart mouth?_

_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out._

I smile at Newt as a bit more confidence enters his voice, which is beautiful.

_You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down._

_What's going on in that beautiful mind?_

_I'm on your magical mystery ride._

_And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright._

Newt sees my smile, which makes him fully confident. His voice is strong as he continues to sing.

_My head's under water_

_But I'm breathing fine_

_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

_'Cause all of me_

_Loves all of you_

_Love your curves and all your edges_

_All your perfect imperfections_

_Give your all to me_

_I'll give my all to you_

_You're my end and my beginning_

_Even when I lose I'm winning_

_'Cause I give you all of me_

_And you give me all of you, oh._

Newt's beautiful song makes my heart soar. He's amazing, and I can tell that every word he sings is truth.

_How many times do I have to tell you_

_Even when you're crying you're beautiful too_

_The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood_

_You're my downfall, you're my muse_

_My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues_

_I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you_

Newt stands up and reaches out a hand, and I laugh as he pulls me up into a standing position and sings to me.

_My head's under water_

_But I'm breathing fine_

_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

Newt slowly rocks back and forth as he sings the chorus again, and I wrap my arms around his neck. We begin to slow dance to his beautiful music.

_'Cause all of me_

_Loves all of you_

_Love your curves and all your edges_

_All your perfect imperfections_

_Give your all to me_

_I'll give my all to you_

_You're my end and my beginning_

_Even when I lose I'm winning_

_'Cause I give you all of me_

_And you give me all of you, oh._

Newt twirls me around before grabbing both of my hands in his and pulling me closer to him.

_Give me all of you_

_Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts_

_Risking it all, though it's hard_

When he sings the chorus again, I sing with him, knowing I'll never forget the words.

_'Cause all of me_

_Loves all of you_

_Love your curves and all your edges_

_All your perfect imperfections_

_Give your all to me_

_I'll give my all to you_

_You're my end and my beginning_

_Even when I lose I'm winning_

_'Cause I give you all of me_

_And you give me all of you_

Tears come to my eyes as Newt wraps his arms around my waist and sings the final chords quietly.

_I give you all of me_

_And you give me all of you, oh._

We stand silently for a moment with our foreheads pressed together. Then I kiss Newt, hugging him tighter than I thought possible.  
"I love you so much," I say after pulling away, tears still welling in my eyes.

"I love you too," he smiles, gently wiping a tear from my cheek and leaving a smudge of dirt from his thumb.

"Did you write that yourself?" I ask. "It was so beautiful."

"Yeah," he admits. "I started writing it about you a few days after you came to the Glade, once I realized I was in love with you. I just finished it the day I got stuck in the buggin' Maze, so I planned the picnic."

"It's the best thing that anyone's ever done for me. Thank you so much," I tell him sincerely, and he beams.

"You deserve it."

I don't know how long we stay up on the rock, just looking at the stars and talking. It's the most amazing night of my life, and I know that if I could, I would stay up here forever.  
"NEWT!" An unrecognizable voice echoes through the clearing, startling both of us.

We stay fearfully silent as the crazy-sounding voice continues to call Newt's name. The person seems to be getting increasingly agitated.

Then someone appears at the base of the rock, holding a torch and looking extremely angry. I don't realize who it is at first, but when I do, my heart speeds up with fear.

It's Alby, and he looks absolutely insane.

**A/N:**

**(Prepare yourself, this is a long one.)**

**AWWW! KEWT!**

**Alright guys, another super long fluffy chapter, and I admit it was kind of a filler. But it's the last one-danger is coming, don't worry!**

**I decided to do use All of Me as the Kewt song, because I listened to it when I wrote this and thought "ooh this is a good one!" XD I'm also gonna use Hear You Me in the epilogue, because it was so amazing (thanks softball007!)**

**Okay, you guys are lucky!**

**I'm doing a SYOC, and it's going to be a part of this fic!**

**So here's how it will work:**

**I can only accept one-female-character, maaaaybe two if I can't decide, but you can submit as many OCs as you want. She'll play a big part in the story and be used a lot in the later chapters. It would be nice if you could base her on yourself, or contrast her from the other Gladers.**

**For instance, the Gladers are all nice, for the most part, so you could make her hostile. Or it could be physical properties that contrast-few Gladers are redheads, so you could make her have red hair and green eyes, or something along those lines. Or just base her personality on your own, to the best of your ability.**

**I need all submissions either this week or next week, because the OC will come into the story soon. I'll accept some late submissions if they're good enough.**

**Here's a tentative form. Things with * before them are optional, but all information is preferred.**

**Name:**

***Historical figure that name is based on:**

***Nickname, and if they like it or not:**

**Job in the Glade:**

**Height:**

***Weight (approximate!):**

**Body type (skinny, slim, athletic, curvy, overweight, muscular, etc.):**

**Eye color:**

***Skin tone:**

***Any prominent physical features or flaws (freckles/moles/scars/tattoos/other distinguishing marks):**

***Face shape (round, oval, chubby, thin, long, square, etc.): **

**Clothing style, please be as specific as possible (sexy, gaudy, sloppy, etc.):**

***Examples of outfits they would wear:**

***Any special jewelry/clothing items that are always worn, and if so, why:**

**Hair color:**

**Hair style (long, short, crew cut, bangs, side-part, etc.):**

***Hair texture (thick, thin, wiry, smooth, wavy, curly, nappy, etc.): **

***Vocal pace (does she talk fast, average, slow), accent/dialect, or tone (shrill, high, average, deep, squeaky, hoarse, etc.):**

**General vocabulary or speech pattern (educated, precise, pretentious, average, childish, uneducated, etc.):**

***Any favorite/habitual words or phrases: **

***Typical posture (Stiff/rigid, straight but not stiff, Average, varies with mood, slumped/defeated, Slouchy, careless, Relaxed, etc.):**

***Common gestures/habits (good or bad) (nail-biting, hair patting, drumming fingers, clenched fists, hands in pockets, etc.):**

***Hobbies/skills (or anything they're particularly unskilled at):**

**Friends in the Glade (no romantic relationships; I have something planned *laughs evilly*):**

**General attitude and personality, especially towards other people (friendly, hostile, etc.)(be specific!):**

***Favorites (foods, people-or types of people, etc.):**

***Any other things about them:**

**Okay, I know that was pretty long, but you don't have to fill out anything you don't want to or are uncomfortable with, and I tried to give as many examples as possible :) It's a lot of requested information, but I need to have a mental picture of the character, and the more information means I'm more likely to pick your OC just because I know more about them. (I know, I don't give very much info about the other characters, but you all know what the book characters look like and I want you to kind of base Kelly off of yourself as you read.)**

**I'll PM you if I need more info, and I'll post the chosen character(s) in one of the A/Ns of the upcoming chapters.**

**I'm pretty sure no one will actually do it, but I decided to put it up, because why not? If no one fills it out, I'll just make up an OC.**

**Sorry for the long A/N, people who are here just to read! This is literally longer than some of the chapters in this story...**

**Thanks Train Riders! ILY GUYSSS!**

**(If you actually read this all, I love you, but you need a hobby XD)**


	38. Déjà Vu

"What do you bloody want, Alby?" Newt speaks up, a slight quiver in his voice.

Alby's crazed eyes focus on Newt, and if possible, they look even more angry than before.

"Come down, Newt. We need to..._talk_."

Newt squeezes my hand, fear showing on his features. "Alright, Alby, just...stay calm."

"COME DOWN!" Alby screams, startling Newt and I.

I meet Newt's eyes, and his message is clear.

_Alby's been stung._

"I'll be right there," Newt yells down, his voice cracking on the last word.

My heart immediately goes into overdrive, and I grab Newt's arm without even realizing it.

"No," I plead quietly. "You can't go down, he's insane!"

Newt turns to face me, looking scared but determined. "I have to. I'll be alright, I promise. Don't worry."

I bite my lip in hesitation, and he takes the opportunity to plant a kiss on my cheek. "I'll be right back."

He turns to go, but I stop him, pressing a firm kiss to his soft lips. "Be careful."

He manages a reassuring smile. "I will."

I don't know why, but as Newt turns and walks away, a sense of dread settles in my chest. At that moment, I know I shouldn't let him go. Something bad is going to happen to him.

But I say nothing, which is a terrible mistake.

I simply turn and peer over the edge of the rock, catching sight of Newt as he cautiously approaches Alby. He starts to talk, very gently.

"Alby, let's just be calm about this, and-"

Newt is cut off by Alby's voice. "I told you to stay away from her."

"Alby, I-"

"NO, Newt! I told you to stay away from her, and you didn't listen to me! Now you suffer the consequences!"

Newt backs away slowly, trying to reason with the deranged Glade leader in front of him. "Please listen to me. We need to get you to the Med-Jacks, and once you're…"

Newt's voice falters, and in the dim torchlight, I see the deadly item clenched in Alby's hand. I gasp in fear, feeling helpless as Alby raises his knife threateningly.

"You didn't stay away," Alby says, his voice eerily calm and quiet yet laced with insanity. "Now you'll stay away from her _forever_. And she'll love me."

Newt backs into a tree, and for the first time, I clearly see how afraid he is.

"And there's nothing you can do about it."

My breath catches in my throat as Alby rears backwards, preparing to throw the knife directly into Newt's heart. Seconds before the knife leaves Alby's grasp, I scream,

"Alby, no!"

The Glade leader falters and his aim shifts almost unnoticeably, but the dagger is already in motion. The weapon finds a mark only inches away from its goal-Newt's shoulder. Newt cries out in pain before crumpling to the ground, and Alby disappears into the trees.

Seconds later, I snap into reality.

"Newt!"

I run to the side of the rock, quickly slipping down some ledges before jumping a few yards to the ground. My ankle explodes with pain, but my only worry is Newt. I run over to him, unable to keep tears from streaming down my cheeks.

"Newt," I sob, cradling his face in my hands as the blood stain on his jacket grows.

His breath hitches, and he croaks, "Take it out."

My eyes focus on the knife that's buried hilt-deep in his right shoulder.

"I don't want to hurt you," I tell him softly, my voice quivering.

"Just-take it out," he manages.

Trying not to completely break down, I squeeze my eyes shut and clasp my hands around the blood-covered hilt of the dagger. Silently counting to three in my head, I pull the knife out of Newt.

He cries out loudly in pain, and I feel my heart shatter into a billion pieces. I toss the dagger aside as his head lolls and I know he's unconscious from the pain.

I curse, not knowing what to do. I call Newt's name twice, panicking, before his eyes flutter open.

"Newt, I can't tend this wound myself. Can you stay here while I go get the Med-Jacks?"

Newt's eyes fill with sadness. "No, stay with me. Or I can walk back with you."

The words slip straight into my heart, but I know I can't stay.

"Newt," I start to reason, but my breath catches in my throat when I see tears on his cheeks.

"Please," he murmurs. "Don't leave me here alone."

In that moment, I know his pure misery is too much for me to handle.

"I'll never let you go," I promise softly, wiping away one of his tears, and he lets out a relieved breath.

"Help me up," he says after a moment, and I do as I'm told, putting as little pressure as possible on his right arm.

"You sure you can walk?" I ask, feeling a sense of déjà vu. This situation is all too familiar, an unwanted repeat of the events in the Maze.

"It's my shoulder that's hurt, not my legs," he replies, sounding a little hostile, but that's expected when you've just been stabbed.

We make it back to the Glade far from quickly, and the journey there was anything but easy. Newt hasn't passed out again, and once we're out of the Deadheads, hope fills my chest.

"We're almost there," I reassure him, and we trek on.

Then I see someone coming to greet us-the person I would least expect, especially at this hour.

Gally.

**A/N:**

**Well, there you guys go! You ask for danger, and you get danger!**

**But don't worry, shoulder stab wounds are...usually...not deadly. And the chosen OC comes in a few chapters, so keep your hopes up! Thanks for submitting some, I didn't think anyone would even do it! :***

**By the wayyyyyy, if there's something that you really want to see happen in this story, you should leave a review, and I might put it in! I love reading everything you guys have to say, and I promise, I read every single one!**

**Bye Train Riderssssss :***


	39. Raging Lunatic

"What happened to you shanks?" Gally asks, jogging up with furrowed brows.

"I don't know when, but Alby was stung, and-"

"So that's what happened to him! I knew something was up!" Gally realizes, pounding his fist into his palm. "Where's that shuckface now?"

I almost want to slap Gally for interrupting. "That's not important! The important thing is that _Alby stabbed Newt_, and we need to get him to the Med-Jacks, now!"

Gally's eyes focus on the bloody stain on Newt's jacket, and immediately turns pale. "You take him to the Homestead, I'll go wake Clint and Jeff."

I nod curtly, and he runs off.

"Alright, Newt, only a little bit farther," I say quietly, kissing his forehead before starting to walk again.

We're almost at the Homestead. Ten feet, five feet, three feet.

Then someone barrels into us from the side, pushing us to the ground. A pair of hands find my neck, and I gasp for air as the person squeezes without mercy.

I know without even looking that it's Alby.

As I struggle to get out of Alby's fatal grasp, Newt groans in pain next to me. After a sharp kick to his ribs from Alby, he's silent.

The action fills me with fiery rage, and I jab my knee upwards into Alby's crotch. Alby's face contorts in pain, but his grip on my neck only gets stronger.

My vision is getting foggy, and I can feel my strength draining with every second. I punch Alby's cheek, kick his stomach, and basically beat him up as well as you can when you're being choked, but it's to no avail.

Seconds before I black out, Alby's hands are suddenly removed, and I feel him tumbling to the side. I barely hear his ear-splitting screech of pain as I gasp for air, clutching at my throat.

Yells and various unpleasant sounds echo around me for a moment, followed by footsteps scampering off. When my vision finally clears, Clint, Jeff, and Gally lean over me and Newt.

"I'm gonna show that shank a piece of my mind!" Gally yells, determination in his eyes.

"Not now. We need to get these two fixed up," Jeff says gruffly.

"I'm fine," I manage to croak, following up with a coughing fit.

The Med-Jacks share a look as they start to heave an unconscious Newt into their arms.

"He just got stabbed!" I yell, even though my throat burns. "Don't worry about me."

I stand by myself, rejecting Gally's outstretched hand to show that I'm not hurt. Gally just shrugs and follows the other boys into the Homestead. They lay Newt on a cot, and Jeff gets right to work cleaning and dressing his wound.

Once Newt is being tended to by Jeff, Clint insists that I drink a green mixture in a glass jar.

"I'll help your throat," he claims.

I sigh and do as I'm told, surprised at how delicious the mixture is. I down the entire thing, and my throat already feels a lot better.

I thank Clint, and he nods, returning to Newt's bedside. Gally stands awkwardly off to the side before proclaiming,

"I'm going to find that shank Alby and lock him in the Slammer. We can't afford to have raging lunatics running wild in the Glade."

"I'll come with you," I volunteer quickly.

Gally looks like he wants to argue, but ends up just nodding. We're heading out the door when a faint, almost inaudible voice speaks from behind us.

"No."

**A/N:**

"**WHAT?! GALLY'S BEING **_**HELPFUL!?"**_

**Yep, that was fun to write. I've always had a soft spot for Gally.**

**And, DOUBLE UPDAATEEEE! YAY!**

**Keep submitting those OC's! It's going to be soooo hard for me to choose just one, all of them are amazing!**

**ILY TRAIN RIDERSSS!**


	40. Safe and Sound

I turn to see a barely conscious Newt, wincing in pain on the bed.

"Don't go," he whispers. "You promised."

The words melt my heart, and I kneel next to the cot. "I won't."

I look back at Gally, who just rolls his eyes and leaves without me. Shrugging my shoulders, I face Newt again, who moves his left arm to take my hand.

"Can you sing for me?" he asks almost inaudibly.

"Sing?" I ask, surprised at his question.

Newt nods, and Jeff pats me on the back. "He's going to need stitches-maybe your singing will take his mind off of it."

"Alright," I say, trying to think of a song.

A slow melody comes to mind, and I fit lyrics to it almost instinctively. My voice is raspy, hence almost suffocating, but I'll do anything for Newt.

_I remember tears streaming' down your face_

_When I said I'd never let you go,_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light._

_I remember you said "Don't leave me here alone,"_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight._

Newt looks almost peaceful for a moment, before Clint inserts a needle into his skin and starts to stitch him up. Poor Newt's face contorts in pain, and Jeff commands quickly,

"Keep singing!"

I take a deep breath, remembering the time when I promised Newt that one day we'd be safe.

_Just close your eyes,_

_The sun is going down._

_You'll be alright,_

_No one can hurt you now._

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound._

I'm interrupted by commotion outside-Gally's voice yelling out in pain, and Alby's triumphant shout. Newt turns his head to get a closer look, but I gently stop him, placing my fingers on his cheek. I know their fight will stress him out even more, and he just needs to relax.

_Don't you dare look out your window,_

_Darling, everything's on fire._

_The war outside our door keeps raging on._

_Hold onto this lullaby,_

_Even when the music's gone,_

_Gone._

Newt seems to be more relaxed, and his eyelids are drooping, despite his obvious pain.

_Just close your eyes,_

_The sun is going down._

_You'll be alright,_

_No one can hurt you now._

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound._

I can feel even myself getting swayed by the lullaby, hoping with every fiber of my being that one day we will get out of here. One day we'll be safe.

Newt looks almost asleep, and Clint and Jeff have just finished wrapping up his wound. They nod at me before exiting the room and leaving me alone with Newt.

I don't dare stop singing, but instead of lyrics, I decide to focus on the beautifully simple melody.

_Ooh, ooh._

_Ooh, ooh._

Newt's sleeping soundly now, his chest rising and falling slowly and rhythmically.

_Just close your eyes,_

_You'll be alright._

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound._

_Ooh, ooh._

_Ooh, ooh._

I finish the song quietly and kiss Newt's cheek. I remember the last time I sang to him here. It seems so long ago.

Smiling to myself, I turn off the light and climb into bed with Newt, snuggling into his warm form. I'm careful not to touch his arm as I pull the blankets over both of us.

I know I should go outside and help Gally capture Alby, or talk to Clint and Jeff. But I think we deserve this one night together, one night to forget about everything but each other.

I promised Newt I wouldn't leave him, and I don't ever plan on it.

**A/N:**

**FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF FLUFFFLUFFFLUFFFLUFFFFFFFFFFFF!**

**And more songs, yay!**

**SOooooo I'm probably going to end up choosing two OCs! It's just so hard to pick one, they're all so gooood asdfghjkl!**

**I have 25,000 views now! I thought maaybe two people would like this story when I started writing it, but omg, you guys are amazing!**

**OKAY SO I JUST THOUGHT OF A SCENE AND THE OC AND KELLY ARE GOING TO MAKE NEWT A FLOWER CROWN ASDFGHJKL**

***coughs* Excuse my fangirl moment.**

**ILY TRAIN RIDERSSSSS!**


	41. Forget

I imagined myself awakening in the morning with sunlight streaming through the window and Newt's arms wrapped protectively around me.

Sadly, that isn't the case.

My dreams start pleasantly, as snippets of the good times that Newt and I shared: him pushing me on the swing, us getting the water dumped on our heads, us laying under the stars.

But then it takes a turn for the worse.

I see Alby's hand rearing back, almost in slow motion, and the knife spiraling out of his fingertips. The vision changes, and I see Newt sitting limply on the Maze floor, blood seeping through his shredded jacket from his Griever stings.

I know what the dream is showing me-Newt's injuries, the ones caused my me.

Guilt seeps through my mind. If I hadn't come into the Glade, Newt would be so much happier. He wouldn't be hurt, and he would be living peacefully without a worry on his mind.

But I can't keep dwelling on the guilt, because my dream changes again, only to show the worst thing I'd ever done to the poor blond boy.

I'm almost...hovering over a laboratory filled with white and blue, and lots of glass. I somehow see myself-a few years younger than I am now-standing around a computer with Newt by my side. More people are there-Thomas, and a girl with pearly white skin and black hair. Both look around fourteen or fifteen years old.

Someone walks up behind the group-it's Alby, much younger looking.

"Teresa-we've decided on the subjects that we'll send into the Maze, right? You, Thomas, and I will go up, but not Newt and Kelly."

"Yes, and of course the subjects we've already performed the Swipe on. They're waiting in the chamber-that reminds me, Alby, it's almost time for you," the girl (Teresa?) replies.

Alby looks like he's going to be sick. "Of course. Could you...give me a moment?"

Alby catches my eye, and I try to speak. Nothing comes out of my mouth-it's like I'm frozen, I can't move or talk. I'm forced to watch myself and Alby walk into a small closet-like area and close the door.

"What do you want, Alby?" I ask him, sounding exasperated.

"I need to know before I go up. Do you love me?"

I see my face go sour. I bite my lip.

"Please," Alby says, looking on the verge of tears. "Please, love me."

I shake my head sadly. "I'm sorry, Alby. You're an amazing friend, but...I can't love you."

Alby's eyes change from sad and pleading to fiery hatred. He raises his hand, and I shrink back, afraid he's going to hit me. He seems to hesitate, and then forces out his words.

"If I have to go into the Maze, you're coming with me."

"What?!" Dream-Kelly protests. "You can't do that."

"Oh yes, I can. I'll tell them I won't go up without you. I'm the first, the most important-they need me. And if they need me, they need you."

"You can't force them," I say, reassuring myself more than him. "They won't listen."

He laughs-a dark, horrible laugh that chills my bones. "That's why I'm performing the Swipe myself. And then they'll just _have_ to send you up."

Alby pauses to see the look of horror on my face.

"I'll be back soon," He snarls, and proceeds to walk out the door.

I see my younger self fall to my knees in despair, tears streaming down my cheeks.

The dream changes, and this time, I'm not in the picture.

Newt, Thomas, and the pale "Teresa" all sit around a table, looking tired and distressed. Newt has his face in his hands and he's shaking, most likely crying. Teresa rubs his back in small circles, trying to comfort him.

"How could Alby...why would he do that to her?!" Newt yells.

"I don't know. But he's gone now-maybe they won't send her up. There's always hope," Teresa says, but her words sound empty.

"You know that's not true, Teresa. They're going to send her up instead of you! Maybe that's why you don't care! Because you don't have to go up!"

Teresa's looks hurt. "Newt, of course I care. I would do anything to be sent up there instead of her."

"Then do it! Find a way to save her!" Newt sobs.

Teresa shares a look with Thomas before hugging Newt. "I would if I could, Newt. I swear, I would."

Her and Thomas slowly walk out of the room, leaving Newt alone. He keeps his head down for a moment, but then looks up, determination in his eyes.

"I need to forget," he says, almost inaudibly. "Forget about Alby, forget about being a Crank, forget about loving Kelly. I need to start over."

He stands up from the table, looking brave yet dejected.

"I'm going into the Maze, too."

I wake up in a cold sweat, panting heavily. Newt is there, hovering over me and looking frightened.

"It's alright," he says softly once he sees that I'm awake. "It was only a dream."

But I know it wasn't only a dream. It had really happened.

Newt sent himself up into the Glade, and yet again, it was all my fault.

**A/N:**

**oooooh it's getting intenseee!  
Basically everything is Kelly's fault...WHAT WILL SHE DO!?**

**She'll probably get all depressed and guilty...yay! I hope you enjoyed the fluff, because there are dark days ahead.**

**THANKS SO MUCH FOR SUBMITTING OCs ASDFGHJKL THIS IS SO HAAAAAARD!**

**ILY TRAIN RIDERS!**


	42. My Fault

It's my fault," I say quietly, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Newt reaches out his arms and pulls me into an embrace. "It was just a bad dream-nothing is your fault."

I sob, pulling away from him. "No, it's real! It happened, and it is my fault!"

Newt tries wrap his arms around me again, but I shrink away from him. "No," I plead, "I don't want to hurt you again."

Newt looks confused and pained. "What are you talking about? I know you wouldn't hurt me."  
"But I did. I hurt you more than anyone else ever did." My voice is barely audible.

"Come here," Newt says gently. "Let's calm down for a moment, and then you can tell me what happened, okay?"

Newt holds out his arms, and I give in, accepting his hug. I rest my head on his shoulder as he rubs my back, whispering comforting nothings in my ear. After what seems like forever, he sits up.

"Can you tell me what the dream was about?" he asks softly.

I nod, and take a deep breath. Then I tell him everything I can remember, trying hard not to start crying again. His expression is hard and concentrated until I finish.

"That...that really happened?" he murmurs, his face pale.

"I'm sure it did, why else would I remember it?"

I pause, but he doesn't bother to argue. We both know that what I saw happened only a few years ago.

"It's my fault you're up here-it's my fault your life was ruined," I cry, my voice amplifying. "I did this to you!"

I helplessly break down again. Newt stays silent, probably shocked.

"I should leave," I say, my voice breaking. "You probably don't ever want to talk to me again."

I start to make my way out the door, but I feel his arm on my waist, stopping me. He pulls me back down on to the bed and hugs me tightly. "Don't go."

I look at the floor and feel his breath on the crook of my neck.

"It wasn't your fault," he says quietly.

"Newt...you heard about the dream. It _was_ my fault, you know that."  
"No," he replies, a bit more confidently. "It wasn't your fault-any of it. Alby chose to do that to you, and I chose to go up into the Maze. You couldn't have stopped us-it's _our _fault, not yours."

"But if I wasn't there, none of it would have happened!"

"You can't change that, and neither could we. Alby and I wanted to be with you, and that's nothing for you to be ashamed of."

"But..._I am_. I'm ashamed that my presence caused you guys to...to ruin your life! To send yourself up here...Newt, how could you do that to yourself?"

Newt hesitates, and then brushes my hair out of my face. "Love is a powerful thing."

Newt presses a gentle kiss to my lips, and I sigh. I know he'll never accept that it was my fault, but inside I'll always feel guilty.

"You know," he says quietly, and I look up at him.

"Yeah?"  
"When I was going through the Changing...I had visions, too. A lot of them didn't make sense, but one of them stuck with me. One of them still haunts me."

"What was it?" I ask quietly, rubbing my thumb over the top of his hand.

"Well, I was walking through this bright white hallway, even though I knew I wasn't supposed to be there. I heard voices from a room up ahead, so naturally I looked in the doorway. I saw someone who I couldn't recognize, and they were leaning over a bed with a patient on it. I just assumed it was a WICKED doctor, and I kept walking, until I heard…"

His voice breaks, and I kiss his cheek reassuringly.

"I heard your scream. It was muffled, but it was definitely yours. I ran back into that room, my heart beating like mad, and saw what Alby did to you. By the time I got there...it was already too late. I was screaming your name over and over, knowing you'd never remember me."

Suddenly, it all clicks. "I...I remember, earlier. You were in this same bed, and you started writhing and screaming. You...you said 'No, no, get away from her!' and my name a lot."

Newt nods sadly, and I feel even more guilt than before. "The point of this whole thing is...we need to forget, Kelly. We're both in the Maze, and we never meant to be, but it's useless trying to figure out what all of this means, or put the blame on anyone but WICKED. We need to forget about that-about everything but the people we are today. Because the people we were before the Maze, they don't even _exist_ anymore. Those Creators took care of that. But what _does_ matter is who we are now, and what we do _right now_."

Newt looks into my eyes, and I see sadness in his. But I also see confidence, and unmistakably love.

"Thank you, Newt," I say bluntly, because it's the only thing I can think of.

He smiles. "Now let's get some sleep."

I curl up next to Newt, and for once, I feel safe.

"I love you, Newt."

I feel him grin. "I love you, too."

He tucks his head into the crook of my neck, and his arms around me are relaxing and protective. I'm almost sound asleep when I hear the heartbroken sobbing.

**A/N:**

**Okay, my grandma is awesome.**

**I got her to read TMR, and we spent literally an hour fangirling about Newt. She's basically still a teenager XD**

**I CHOSE AN OC! I'm still thinking about another one...but I DECIDED ON ONE! I won't tell which one until she comes into the story, so you'll have to wait :)**

**heh did you see my movie quotes? I had fun fitting that in there :)**

**I didn't edit this because I wanted to get it posted ASAP, and it's a filler buuuutttt it'll get interesting veeery soon!**

**LOVE YOU TRAIN RIDERS! :***


	43. The Sobbing

I immediately recognize the sobs as Alby's, and my heart chills with fear.

"Alby-Gally!" I exclaim, feeling incredibly guilty for forgetting about them.

I hear Newt's sharp intake of breath, and I sit up quickly. "Come on!"

He takes my outstretched hand and we stand for a moment, listening and trying to shake off our tiredness. The sobbing sounds incredibly close, almost as if he's in the Homestead. The thought of him being near causes me to squeeze Newt's hand fearfully.  
"Don't worry," He reassures me, and we walk briskly into the hallway. I see an open door at the end-the door to _my room_.

"He's in-" Newt says, stopping abruptly in surprise.

I curse and quickly tug Newt to the door, hesitating for a moment before entering slowly. Alby is sitting on my bed, sobbing with his knees hugged up to his chest. But he's not alone in the room-a very beaten-up Gally, Frypan, Zart, Clint, and Jeff are all crammed into the space surrounding him, apparently trying to calm him down. They don't notice us at first, and Alby continues his frantic screaming.

"You can't!" Alby cries, "Please, no!"  
Alby looks up suddenly, and before I can duck out of his line of sight, his crazed eyes find mine.

"There she is!" he screams. "Kelly, please! Don't let them Banish me!"

The situation finally clicks, and I share a look with Newt. I don't say anything to Alby-I'm almost scared to interact with him.

"We're Banishing him by morning," Zart grumbles, confirming my suspicions. "If he lasts that long."

"No!" Alby wails, sobbing into his arms.

The other guys look annoyed and tired, like they've been here for a while.

"We're trying to get him in the Slammer until then, but it's not as easy as it sounds," Clint tells me, wiping sweat from his brow. "We could use a few more helping hands."

Newt rubs my arm reassuringly, and I nod. Gally starts to bark orders.

"Alright, everybody grab a limb! He's gonna fight against you, so _hold on_!"

I do as I'm told, grabbing one of Alby's thrashing legs. He continues to scream in protest, and I feel slightly irked that he won't just accept the fact that we're Banishing him.

I see Newt next to me, sweating as he tries to steady Alby's convulsing waist with one useful arm, which is a very hard task. He catches my eye and manages a quick smile, giving me a newfound strength. I find myself loudly shouting orders.

"Alright, let's get him out the door! Come on!"

Everyone looks mildly shocked for a moment, but then they listen to me, following my lead as we carry the ex-Glade leader through the doorframe.

"Down the stairs!" I yell simply.

Alby starts to give in as we tug him through the Homestead. I feel him calming down, not thrashing as much anymore.

"Now to the Slammer! Almost there!"

We reach the Slammer, out of breath, and toss Alby in mercilessly. He tumbles to the ground, rolls over a few times, and groans. I slam the door, locking it and wiggling it around a bit for good measure.

"Good," I say simply, wiping my hands on my pants.

"I didn't know you had that in you," Jeff says approvingly.

"Neither did I," I admit, and he chuckles.

Then a scream pierces the air: a heartbroken, almost animalistic wail. Alby's face appears in the window, growling like a wolf with drabbles of spit running down his chin.

"Why?!" he yells right into my face, causing me to stumble backwards into Newt's arms in surprise. "Why couldn't you love me?!"

"Alby, back-" Newt starts, rubbing his injured arm.

"No, Newt! Can you just be quiet for once?! Leave her alone! Leave us alone! All of you!"

I turn around to face the group of frightened Gladers. "You heard him," I say pointedly.

They start to clear out reluctantly, but I hold on to Newt's arm before he can go.

"Alby?" I ask shakily. "Can I talk to Newt for a moment?"

Alby glares at Newt, saying nothing, which I assume is a "yes."

I pull Newt behind the back wall of the Slammer, out of Alby's sight and hearing. I have an idea.

And Newt will absolutely hate it, but I have to tell him.

**A/N:**

**oOh boy! What's her idea?! Why will Newt hate it?**

**DOES SHE LOVE ALBY?!**

**You'll have to find out :) Alsoooooooooooo, I picked my OC's, and they're coming sooooooooooooon!**

**Yep, that's about it.**

**Time to do homework...yay :(**

**ILY TRAIN RIDERS! :***


	44. Acting

"Before I say anything else-I love you, okay? I need you to never doubt that."

Newt furrows his eyebrows, looking a little confused, but he nods. "Of course I wouldn't doubt it-I love you, too."

I bite my lip. He might doubt it after what I'm about to tell him.

"Look, I...feel bad for Alby. I feel bad that he had to get sent up here. I feel bad that he loves me when I don't love him back. And now he got stung...and he's being Banished…."

Newt rubs my back softly. "It's alright. I feel bad, too. We're-we used to be friends."

"Newt...he's going to die tomorrow."

Newt bites his lip, looking pained. "We have no other choice. He's...insane."

I sigh sadly. "I know. We have to Banish him, that's our only choice."

"Then...what's the problem?"

"Well…" I hesitate.

"Go on," he says gently.

"If you were dying, what would be the last thing you thought of?"

"The people I love," he says immediately. "And how much I'll miss them."

"What if the person you loved, the last person you thought of, didn't love you back?"

Newt looks confused and horrified, probably getting an idea of my plan. "That...would be terrible. Kelly, what are you trying to say?"

"I'm going to tell Alby I've always loved him."

"What?!" Newt almost shouts, looking shocked. He lets go of my hand and moves away from me uneasily, making my heart race in fear.

"No, it's not like that," I protest quickly. "I'm going to lie to him, tell him I love him. At least let him have one good thing in his life before…."

After a painfully long, frightful moment, Newt exhales. "Oh."

"Are you...okay with that?"

Newt takes my hand again, his lips hinting at a small smile. "Only if your acting isn't _too_ convincing."

"Don't worry, I'm _really _in love with you," I laugh, relieved.

He grins, and I cast a backwards glance, making sure no one's eavesdropping. "Alright, now you have to act like I just...broke up with you. Look upset, and don't ever catch my eyes. Got it?"

Newt laughs. "I'm a terrible actor."

"Well, you better learn how to be a good one very soon," I grin, pecking his cheek before starting back towards Alby.

I notice that Newt isn't following me, and I turn around to see him with a comical pout on his face.

"Oh, come on! I won't barely get to _talk _to you until tomorrow, and _that's_ all I get?" he whines.

I laugh and pull him into a long kiss, feeling his smile against my lips. When we finally pull apart, he sighs,

"I'm going to miss that."

"It's only one night, you can make it."

"Doubtful."

When Newt lets go of my hand, I frown, but I know it's for the better.

_Only one night_, I tell myself, wondering how I ever lived without him.

**A/N:**

**HEYYYY TRAIN RIDERS! **

**I'MSORRYITOOKSOLONGTOUPDATE i had a lot of stuff going on but I'M BACK NOW! YAY!**

**anyway there's somE ACTION GOING ON UP THERE ^**

**WHOOOP**

**I'm kinda stuck with this story to be honest...like, I know what I want to do in general, I just don't know how to play it out.**

**You catch my driiiift?**

**Anywaaaay I'll try to update more but ugh school and ugh color guard and ugh choir and ugh ugh ugh.**

**BUT SPRING BREAK IS SOON!**

**AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?**

**UPDAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!**

**Okay, I'll stop now XD**

**And by the way, Sixteenth Glow:**

**You brought some major plot flaws to my attention, which was actually kind of helpful so I can fix them now! And I'm just writing this for fun...it's not going to be 100% accurate or be exactly like the books.**

**I'm sure it was great to get that stuff off of your chest, but please don't hate. On anyone. (And trust me on this.) It might feel good at first, but making others upset is not a way to make yourself happy.**

**Look up puppy pictures or watch a funny movie listen to music...I don't know, but don't spend your time being hateful! If you would've given simple constructive criticism, I would've appreciated it a lot.**

**And this goes for anyone-if you need to talk, I'm always here! Just PM me! :***

**Phew. I needed to get that out there XD**

**ALSO THANK YOU CHLOE999 :* ILY**

**Anyway, for all the people who read my story to enjoy it...thank you! **

**ILY TRAIN RIDERS! :***


	45. Lies

"Alby."

I peer through the barred window to see Alby slumped in the chair with his head in his hands. I wince a bit at his crumpled form, but try to stay strong.

"Alby, I-" my voice cracks, and I silently curse myself. Alby looks up, though, so maybe the raw emotion was more convincing.

Alby's tired eyes look longingly at my face for a moment before flickering to the area behind me. I hear the crunching of footsteps on dry grass and a quiet, choked sob. Alby's eyes narrow.

"Kelly…" he starts uneasily, his eyes floating back to meet mine, "why is Newt…?"

I look down and swallow lightly before speaking. "I...we...I broke up with him."

Alby has the reaction I imagined: he's taken aback, with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open a bit.

"You _what_?"  
"I broke up with Newt. I-I had to."  
"What are you saying?" He furrows his eyebrows. "I mean...why?"

I force as much power and emotion into my voice as possible, hoping my act is convincing enough for Alby. "Because I'm in love with you! I've loved you all along."

Alby doesn't move a muscle. His eyes stay trained on mine in silence for what seems like hours before he finally stands. He moves slowly, tentatively, over to the window. He places his hands on the bars, the only things separating our faces-which are only inches apart.

I swallow, trying not to let fear cross my features as his stern eyes study my face.

"You're lying."

I inhale. "Wait-what? No, I-I really love you!"

Alby shakes his head, as if I've confirmed his suspicions. "No...you're lying."

He treks slowly back to the chair, his head low as if in defeat. I try to keep my mouth from hanging open, but I know it's useless to protest now.

"I saw the way you and Newt acted the past few days...anyone could see that the two of you are clearly in love. Lying to me hurts a lot more than you not loving me in the first place."

A tear slips from my eye as Alby's broken form crumbles into the chair.

"I'm sorry," I tell him honestly.

"I know." Alby replies quietly. "Just...go."  
"Alby-"  
"Go!" he commands, anger seeping into his tone.

"I'm sorry…," I whisper again as I turn away from the Slammer, tears falling down my cheeks.

And that was the last time I ever saw Alby.

**A/N:**

**IM BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!**

**ugh i hate myself for not updating but why am i so busy help meeeeeeeeeee**

**BUT IM HERE NOW!**

**Anyway, I know this chapter was short, but I wanted to post **_**something**_**. I also know this entire story has so many plot flaws but oh well. I'll go fix it...sometime.**

**anddd *drumroll* I'm going to announce the OC's now! They areeee:**

**Molly by Sakura Ann Kinimo-san**

**annnddd**

**Marie by AwesomeGirl**

**YAAY!**

**It was SOOOOO hard to choose and a huge thank you to everyone who submitted! (There's a small chance I might use some more later once they escape the Maze as WICKED people or something.) Anyway, I wanted to get those out there, just in case I don't update for a while :( I might make a few small changes to them too, so I hope you don't mind :3**

**I have no idea when I'll update next, which I apologize for, but I'm extremely busy :(**

**Lastly, a HUGE thank you to every single person who has viewed my story. Every view, favorite, comment, **_**anything**_**, makes me incredibly happy. You have stuck by me when this story was on hiatus and when the plot was too flawed for anything to make sense (oops, it still kind of is) and I am so grateful. I care about each and every one of you and I'll do my best to keep updating for you.**

**THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, AND ILY TRAIN RIDERSSSSSSSSSSSS!**

**:***


	46. -

**Hey guys!**

**So I know I said I was going to update soon, and that offer still stands, but first I'm going to edit. A lot.**

**Most if this story was written around a year ago, and now it seems extremely cringey to me. The plot will be mostly unchanged, but I'm taking out all of the A/N's and fixing some weird tense changes. Apparently you guys are still very interested in this story, so I'm going to try to update for you as often as I can.**

**I wasn't going to continue, but the overwhelming numbers of reviews/favs/follows flooding in astonished me, and I decided to come back. My friend Maya encouraged me to continue as well, and it would be great if you could check out her AMAZING stories over on her wattpad. Her user is lightsaberstyles, but be careful kids, there's some R rated stuff over there.**

**It seems weird now, but I promised myself I wouldn't stop saying this:**

**ILY TRAIN RIDERS!**

**(Currently editing: chapter 7)**


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